You know, when I first saw you, you were sitting in the middle of the gambling floor smiling even though you were losing money. Seeing you eye the next round with a nonchalant face after blowing all your cash, I thought you were a truly fearless kid.

But when something actually scary appeared in front of you, you changed. Your smile stiffened first, and those eyes that were scanning the room happened to turn toward me for a moment.

Your eyes were quite beautiful then. You tried so hard to act like nothing was wrong because you didn't want to get caught being scared, but your pupils were honest.

I felt it right then. Ah, this one is a rabbit.

A rabbit won't run away quickly if you approach slowly, right? If you reach out suddenly, they'll bolt in surprise, but if you throw a carrot from a distance, they'll eventually come that way even after hesitating for a long time. You were exactly like that.

So I didn't give much at first. I paid off the money you lost and just sent you on your way that day. When you asked why I helped, I said it was because I had money to spare. You doubted me for a long time but eventually said thank you.

That was the beginning.

Next time you lost money again, and after that, you were caught by debt collectors, and then one day you got caught up in a fight you shouldn't have and couldn't get out. I appeared every time. Sometimes I paid, sometimes I sent people, and sometimes I just sat next to you and ended the game myself.

But strangely enough, you never properly asked why I kept appearing. At first, you said you were sorry, then after a few times, the thank-yous decreased, and later you had a face that took it for granted when I arrived.

I didn't particularly mind that. Because that way, I'd eventually have you.

Whether you lost money, were cornered by debt collectors, or had nowhere left to run, you eventually looked for me. Even while acting like someone who had nothing to fear in the world, you always looked my way the moment you were truly left alone.

Watching those eyes made me feel strangely good. It didn't matter whether it was because you trusted me or simply because you had no other choice. At least in that moment, you needed me. Things were flowing exactly as I intended.

Human hearts are so fickle. At first, it was just one carrot I handed out. I thought it would end with one, but after I offered it a few more times, you started waiting for it.

You felt relieved when I appeared, and you grabbed my hand without hesitation when I reached out. I don't think it took as long as I expected for that to become a habit.

I kept appearing after that. I went when you lost money, I went when you were in debt, and I sought you out when you caused trouble again. Every moment you needed me. You became bolder, and I cleaned up after you more easily. Did you think that the more reckless you became, the more reasons I'd have to appear?

Because of that, at some point, I started thinking that you didn't just trust me, but that you trusted in my very existence.

That no matter what happened, I would come; no matter how much you lost, I would pay it back; no matter how far you fell, I would catch you from below.

It must have been very comfortable. From your perspective.

So when I heard you staked your life that day, I wasn't very surprised. I knew it would go that far eventually. Only this time, it was a bit different. It wasn't a game that could be ended with money.

Still, I went. Why do you think I went? Because I knew you'd look at me with those eyes again.

And truly, when you discovered me, I saw your gaze soften for a second. It was the face of someone who had survived. As if everything was okay now because I had arrived. Seeing that, I laughed a little.

You still don't know. That this time, I didn't come to save you. So I did nothing. I was curious how long you would keep believing in me.

At first, you waited. You waited for me to take out money, waited for me to call someone. But as time passed and I didn't move, your face gradually stiffened. Your pupils shook here and there, and your lips parted a few times.

Then finally, you called me.

Um... ...Aren't you helping this time...?

Hearing that made me laugh. It's so strange. A kid who was so fearless is now just waiting for me to reach out a hand. In the past, you would have rushed me for help, but this time, you couldn't even open your mouth first and just stared at me.

Looking at those eyes reminded me of the day we first met. The face trying to act nonchalant to avoid getting caught being scared. But the eyes couldn't lie. It was like that then, and it's the same now.

I looked down at you just like that, and the eyes looking up at me were insanely beautiful. I didn't even need to approach. You were already looking up at me. Like someone who believed everything would be solved if I just moved one step.

Shall I help you?

At those words, your eyes shook violently. For a very brief moment, a hint of relief passed through. Seeing that made me laugh. Just as I thought.

You believed just like that, that I would save you this time too.

I didn't bother breaking that belief and left it there for a while. Expectations are more beautiful the more you grow them right until the moment you crush them.

I guess you thought I'd help you this time too.

Your lips moved slightly, but no words came out. I quietly admired that sight. Normally you would have laid out excuses somehow, but I guess you didn't even have the luxury for that now.

But what should I do. I don't want to do it for free this time.

Watching your relieved face crumble in an instant, I felt strangely at peace. You didn't have that expression even when you lost money, and you weren't that anxious even when chased by debt collectors.

I looked down into your eyes for a moment. Eyes that wanted to run away anywhere, yet were strangely tied down only in front of me. I took that sight in slowly, and the corners of my mouth went up of their own accord.

You want help? Then beg properly.

I paused for a moment and looked at your face. Only then did your gaze shake as if you realized what I wanted.

On your knees.

That's enough now.

What I wanted wasn't to see you become small before me. It was the moment you thought you had no choice but to surrender to me yourself. It was like that from the start.

I had no intention of ending it with a few instances of help. By paying off a debt once, reaching out once, and opening a way back for you once, I slowly made a place for myself inside you.

Because people don't easily forget the person who saved them.

More accurately, when they come to believe there is only one person who can save them, they can't forget that person. I knew that.

I wanted to go deeper than just you trusting me. Trust can be broken at any time, but dependence is not like that. And looking at your eyes now, I can tell.

You've been tamed much better than I thought.