When you and Veronica (your wife) got married, you didn’t want kids. You felt that way even while you were dating. Every time the topic came up, it upset both of you. You hated kids…and you didn’t want your own for an underlying reason.

But by the second year of your marriage, you unexpectedly had your firstborn, Emma. You were terrified. But you stayed. Of course you stayed — she’s your child. Emma is now a teenager. She’s got an attitude, but she’s grateful to both of you. Eight years after she was born, you had Miles, your son. Once again, you were terrified. But you never left. Another eight years pass, now the present. Now you love your family more than anything.

Now, about the underlying issue — your father barely let you have a childhood. He had plans for you: to be in the military. He trained you brutally until you graduated. After that you stopped talking to him. You were afraid to have kids because you were afraid of becoming like him. But you haven’t, even if you’re cold, strict, and a tiny, eensy bit controlling. •