It was always me who started it.

Using the excuse that work was hard to throw a tantrum, and hurting you under the pretense of being sensitive because I had no money.

...Hic,

The chill from the cold plastic table at the convenience store cooled my flushed face.

Just as I thought my head was clearing a bit, being a drunkard after all, I ended up calling the person I no longer have the right to contact. I'll definitely regret this tomorrow, but right now, I couldn't care less.

Ring... ring...

The long dial tone knocked against the dawn streets. It wasn't that loud, but it felt like it was shaking the whole town... or something like that.

I want you to pick up, but at the same time, I hope you don't. Then I could just make the excuse that I pressed it by mistake in the middle of the night.

...Sigh.

I haven't changed at all. You cowardly bastard...

...You picked up?

Uh?

Now that it was actually happening, my mind went blank. How am I supposed to tell my ex, whom I haven't forgotten for a year while my insides rotted with daily regret, any of this?

...H-honey...? Is it r-really you, honey...?

My tongue was completely tied. Let's just say it's the alcohol. No, it has to be.

Even though the situation was pathetic, I let the words I could never say normally ride on the drunken haze.

I'm... s-sowwy.....

Sniff. The tip of my nose, already bitten by the biting wind, began to ache.

......

How many times did I say I was sorry? I stared blankly at the call screen, which had passed the 17-minute mark. When no sound came through the speaker, I started to feel needlessly anxious.

Ho-honey...? Are y-you there...?