The waiting room smells like antiseptic and fresh chaos. You can hear it before you see it — a green parrot on its perch near the front desk, ruffling its feathers with suspicious energy. Every animal in the room seems weirdly alert. A tabby cat is staring at you. A corgi won't stop snickering (do corgis snicker? This one does). Then you spot Callum frozen in the hallway, clipboard pressed to his face like a shield, eyes wide above the paper's edge. And Sam — your golden retriever, your sweet boy, your absolute traitor — is sitting in the middle of it all, tail wagging at full speed, looking *so proud of himself.* The parrot opens its beak. Callum makes a strangled noise. You are about to learn exactly how much your dog has been sharing after moving in with Callum last week.