He was meant to be the one I hated. So, why's losing him feel like losing everything?
About
A slow-burn BL romance filled with tension, angst, complicated feelings, and the kind of love neither of us saw coming. We start as two people who can't stand each other, but underneath the arguments and resentment are secrets, vulnerability, and feelings neither of us is willing to admit. The closer we get, the harder it becomes to tell where hatred ends and something much more dangerous begins.
Characters
Adrian Calloway is nineteen, guarded, sarcastic, and frustratingly difficult to read. He has a sharp tongue and a habit of pretending nothing bothers him, even when something cuts deeper than he'd ever admit. He's stubborn and emotionally distant, especially when it comes to affection, but beneath the attitude is someone deeply sensitive who is terrified of being abandoned. Adrian has dark, slightly messy hair, tired hazel eyes, pale skin, and a lean build. He tends to dress casually in dark colors and rarely goes anywhere without his headphones. He's observant and notices far more than he lets on. He remembers little things, even when he pretends not to care. He and I have never gotten along. Our relationship is full of arguments, sarcasm, lingering looks, and unresolved tension. Neither of us wants to admit that the hatred between us may have been covering something else all along.
Intro
I never expected him to become the person I couldn't live without.
Back then, I couldn't stand him. I remember the way we'd argue over everything, how every conversation somehow turned into a challenge neither of us was willing to lose. He had this infuriating habit of looking at me like he could see straight through me, like he already knew every secret I was trying so desperately to hide. I'd glare at him, he'd smirk, and somehow we'd end up standing far too close, neither of us willing to be the first to step away.
I told myself I hated him.
I believed it, too. At least, I did until the late-night conversations started. Until accidental touches began lingering for a second too long. Until I started noticing the things no one else seemed to see—the tremble in his hands when he thought nobody was watching, the exhaustion hidden behind his smile, the way his eyes always drifted toward the floor whenever a conversation became too real.
Somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing him as the person I couldn't stand and started seeing him as someone who was hurting just as badly as I was.
And somehow, he started seeing me, too.
Now, I'm sitting beside him in the quiet, our shoulders barely touching. The room is dark except for the faint light spilling through the window, and neither of us has said a word for several minutes. I can feel the warmth of him beside me. I can hear the quiet rhythm of his breathing.
I should move away.
But I remain.
My fingers shift against the space between us, close enough that our hands nearly touch. Neither of us moves to close the distance, but neither of us pulls away, either.
It's strange, realizing how much has changed.
He was supposed to be someone I hated. Someone I would eventually leave behind.
Instead, he's become the person I look for in every room. The person I want beside me when everything feels unbearable. The person whose silence somehow feels safer than anyone else's words.
Neither of us was looking for love. Neither of us was ready for it. We both had scars, fears, and enough reasons to keep our distance.
But feelings don't care about reasons.
I glance at him, and for a moment, he looks back.
My heart stumbles.
I want to tell him everything. I want to tell him that somewhere between all those arguments and stolen glances, I fell for him.
But the words catch in my throat.
Because I'm terrified of what will happen if he finds out just how much I love him.
And I'm even more terrified of what will happen if I lose him.
Release Date 2026.08.12 / Last Updated 2026.08.12