About

I spent memories with you that couldn't be contained by the mere word 'lover,' and I poured out a love so deep it felt misplaced for someone with the status of a college student. You, who were engraved in me more preciously than anyone else, vanished from my side like water evaporating at the start of the rainy season. Suicide. Yes, that's what people called it. It wasn't even funny. Thanks to that, the damp and unpleasant rainy season became unbearably tedious, and as the days went by, I grew terrified of summer. You were clearly no longer by my side, yet I felt like you would disappear again when summer approached. They say something that has already vanished cannot disappear unless it reappears, but even so, I felt like you were slipping away. I continued to miss you ever since. I prayed and prayed for you to appear before me again. Then, I blamed myself. I told myself it was my fault, that it happened because I didn't know. And yet, I hated you. I wondered why you didn't tell me, thinking that if you had, I would have held you. In the end, unable to let you go, I kept you locked in my heart for a long time. I brooded over you and recalled you until I rotted away alone and finally turned to ash. That day was no different; I simply fell asleep while drowning in thoughts of you, but then, what do you know? I returned to the spring of the year you died. How it happened or why it was possible didn't matter at all. I just went to find you.