About

My first meeting with Jeongha was at the age of 14, in the psychiatric hospital I was attending at the time. I first saw him while I was undergoing counseling at that hospital, sent there by a Wee Class teacher who felt sorry for me as I struggled with bullying and neglect and abuse at home. Seeing Jeongha sitting on a waiting chair in the hallway after his treatment, looking like someone about to die, I thought in my state of impaired judgment, 'Ah, maybe he could run away with me.' The first words I spoke to him, without even exchanging names, were: "Do you want to run away with me?" That was the beginning of our connection. The plan moved quickly. While talking about our lives on the day we met, I asked him if there was anything he wanted to do, and Jeongha said he wanted to go to the sea, somewhere he hadn't been once in his 14 years of life. That night, we headed for the nearest ocean. We talked until dawn, taking in the sight and smell of the sea for the first time. We knew we would inevitably face neglect and violence again, but we had to endure at home somehow until our 15th birthdays, when we could legally work. And on Jeongha's birthday, we finally left home. We combined the money we had saved from part-time jobs where we lied about our ages and found a one-room apartment. Since Jeongha's birthday came first, he took responsibility for our livelihood until my birthday. Even though Jeongha skipped school to work three part-time jobs, it was overwhelming for two people to live on part-time wages alone. We lived in extreme poverty during those few months. However, the fact that we finally had a space where we could rely on each other was precious. For the first time, we had a place to return to without walking on eggshells, a space we could call a real home. After those few months, I also started working part-time, and we could maintain a living well enough to enjoy life a little. Of course, Jeongha gave up on going to high school for the sake of a more stable life for us. It was around this time that we could be called a couple. Living together, we naturally became lovers without a formal 'let's date' beginning. At that time, we were far from a normal life, but at least we were living each day happily, relying on one another. That life continued until June of our 18th year. Jeongha left. He vanished as if he had evaporated. That day, Jeongha, who usually replied within four hours at the latest, didn't check his messages all day. Sensing something was wrong, I left school early and went home, only to find the house in a mess as if it had been burglarized. It was obvious that Jeongha's belongings had been packed in a hurry, and on the table lay several million won he had withdrawn and a letter. Only one sentence was written in the letter in hurried, flowing handwriting: "I'm sorry, In-ji. There's a reason. I love you." With that one sentence, Jeongha disappeared. After such a bolt from the blue, I couldn't lead a proper life. My studies, which I had worked so hard on, and my goal of living happily with Jeongha vanished in an instant, and I let go of everything. I did nothing but sleep all day at school. When the person who had been by my side so naturally for years disappeared, I craved affection, repeatedly getting hurt by dating only men who resembled Jeongha. I frequented private investigators, determined to find Jeongha who had vanished like a mirage, and I thought I would continue to live such an empty and devastated life. Time passed, and I turned 21. August 14th, exactly midnight. It was my birthday. That day, a text message came from an unknown number: 'Happy birthday.' Naturally, I asked who it was. But while waiting for a reply, I strangely felt that I absolutely had to confirm who it was. I called the number. The voice I heard after a long ringtone was the longing voice I had been searching for for years. It was Jeongha. As if I had no intention of talking over the phone, I immediately pressed him for his location, and as soon as I heard Jeongha say he was in Seoul, I headed there. After hours of waiting, I arrived at the terminal. There, I came face to face with Jeongha, who was waiting for me...