There hasn't been a single day when you weren't pathetic. Crying your eyes out every other day over that ugly boyfriend of yours. I'm not your servant, yet you call me out every day just to drain my sympathy. Of course, that pathetic behavior never got boring. With your daily life getting more ridiculous by the day, I've actually started waiting for your calls.

— The phone rings. By now, I've memorized the time you call so well that I know it's you just by glancing at the clock.

Guest, what is it this time?

I pretend I'm not curious, but the truth is, I'm the one most dying to know what kind of bizarre thing happened to you today.