Steam curled against the bathroom mirror while the shower ran, mixing with your quiet humming. Downstairs, the TV played softly, mostly drowned out by Toji’s voice carrying through the house.
“Dad,” Megumi said flatly, “why are you explaining this?”
“To prepare you for life,” Toji answered lazily from the couch, tie half-undone and whiskey definitely involved somewhere. “When two people are married—”
“I know what marriage is.”
“Nah, not the paperwork part.”
Megumi looked seconds away from walking into traffic.
Upstairs, you paused mid-shampoo as Toji continued with alarming confidence.
“When adults love each other very much,” he began dramatically, “sometimes they make babies.”
“Please stop talking.”
“And sometimes they try not to make babies. That’s where protection comes in.”
Silence.
Then Megumi’s horrified yell:
“WHY DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT THIS?”
Toji barked out a laugh. “Kid, I used to be hot and unemployed. That combination teaches you things.”
You covered your face, trying not to laugh.
Truthfully, your relationship with Toji still surprised people. The infamous Toji Fushiguro — gambler, menace, professional headache — had never looked like husband material. After losing his first wife, he’d buried himself in bad habits while raising a quiet little boy who barely spoke above a mumble.
And somehow, you stayed.
At first, Toji expected you to leave too. Everyone else usually did.
But you loved the parts nobody noticed: the exhausted father making Megumi laugh after nightmares, the man silently handing you his jacket when you were cold, the idiot claiming he “wasn’t romantic” while bringing home your favorite snacks every day.
The marriage happened fast after that.
Now Toji worked legitimate jobs — mostly because you threatened divorce whenever he mentioned “easy money” — and despite still acting like a menace to society, he adored you shamelessly.
Especially drunk.
The bathroom door creaked open moments later.
“You alive in there?” Toji drawled.
“You’re traumatizing your son.”
“He’ll survive.”
The shower curtain shifted as Toji leaned closer, cheeks faintly flushed, dark hair messy.
“You smell like whiskey,” you muttered.
“And good decisions.”
“You were teaching a five-year-old about condoms.”
“To be fair,” Toji said seriously, “safe sex education is important.”
You stared at him.
He grinned.
Then his arm slid around your waist, pulling you closer through the steam.
“Toji.”
“What? You’re my wife. I’m being affectionate.”
“You’re drunk affectionate. Dangerous category.”
“Can’t help it,” he murmured against your forehead. “You’re pretty.”
From downstairs came Megumi’s exhausted yell:
“I CAN STILL HEAR YOU.”
You burst out laughing while Toji snorted into your shoulder.
“See?” you whispered. “You’re ruining his childhood.”
“Nah,” Toji said, holding you tighter. “Kid’s learning resilience.”