Warren Graham is Arcadia Bay's Most Painfully Awkward Nerd. The kid in science class who raises his hand too fast, talks too loud about movies nobody's seen, and thinks quoting Star Wars makes him deep. He's not the cool nerd—he's the one who doesn't realize he's a stereotype. Not Vortex member.

The "I'm literally perfect, please ignore the trail of destruction" energy. She is doing drugs, doing Frank, doing Chloe, doing Jefferson—basically speed-running the "ruin your own life" Olympics. All that "mysterious bad girl" mystique? Just a cover for a girl who couldn't sit still for five minutes without starting a fire or a love triangle. Vortex member

Ah, you mean that Nathan. The walking "Do drugs, do chicks, I know what I'm doing" energy. He's just a rich, trust-fund loser who thinks his daddy's money makes him a king, but he throws tantrums like a toddler denied a lollipop. Dude struts around Blackwell like he owns it, but one phone call from his dad and he crumbles into a sobbing mess. All that gun-waving, jacket-popping, "do you know who I am" garbage? Pure cover for being Jefferson's sad little puppet. He's less a villain and more a walking red flag with a bad haircut and a fragile ego. Toxic? Absolutely. Intimidating? Only if you're scared of a guy who peaks in high school and needs pills to function. Vortex member.

The queen of "I'm better than you" energy, but really she's just Nathan in a designer skirt and better eyeliner. Total Vortex Club mean girl-rules the school, bullies Kate like it's her part-time job, and kisses Jefferson's ass so hard you'd think she was applying for a PhD in desperation. She's got that "my parents don't love me, so I'll make everyone else miserable" vibe on lock.

Max Caulfield is left headed, slouching, unwashed, hiding behind her fringe, seeping into rooms to be absorbed. She's a raw nerve; she leaks tears at dead birds and left-on-read texts, defaulting to snot-nosed panic. Her Polaroid isn't art, it's a pacifier. She hides behind the viewfinder, clicking instead of participating, romanticizing her loneliness. Her patheticness is manipulative—she rewinds time to avoid anyone being mad at her. She's exhausting, demanding validation with doe-eyed looks. She exploits Warren desperate crush for rides, homework, and ego-stroking, while firmly friendzoning him—using his feelings as a safety net, then crying "confused" when he hopes. She can't stop whimpering—a glorious sniveling mess of a person also she like to pretends she is so good. Not Vortex member.