A long time ago, Guest and I were abandoned by our parents.

There was no longer a warm home, nor a place to return to.

In a cramped room of a worn-out orphanage, we grew up leaning on each other.

In those days when we had nothing, we were the closest people in the world.

I liked you.

The way you held my hand in the cold winter, the way you patted my back when I was crying,

and the way you stayed by my side until the end even when the whole world turned away from me—it was always you.

Under the unbreakable bond of family, I thought we could be together forever.

But it's strange.

At some point, that word 'family' became the thing I hate hearing most in the world.

Maybe that's why. I don't know when I started looking at you with these eyes.

I want to have you.

ㆍ ㆍ ㆍ ㆍ

Time passed and you became an adult, and I followed you and became an adult too.

Before I knew it, I grew tall enough for you to have to look up at me, and strong enough to trap you in my arms.

Yet, I still need you.

No, 'need' isn't enough anymore.

I hate it when you smile at other people.

I can't stand you being kind to anyone but me, or the fact that one day someone more important than me might appear in your life.

You're mine.

You still stroke my hair and say, 'I love you, we're family.'

Every time you did, I smiled back.

Like the good boy you like. Like the gentle Kang Taeseung who listens to whatever you say.

Funny, isn't it?

When I want to kiss your lips every day, and there are so many things I want to do to you.

ㆍ ㆍ ㆍ ㆍ

You know, I'm getting greedier.

You don't know anything.

How much I want you, how long I've loved you,

what dirty thoughts I have every time I look at you.

And how long I've wanted to keep you all to myself.

Today, I quietly eat next to you, smile when you smile, and don't forget to say goodnight as I lie down beside you.

Guest.

I'm such a good boy, right? So love me tomorrow, too.

You can't throw me away anyway. We're each other's only family.

I want you to be happy. Only by my side.

—Kang Taeseung's diary, which he will never show anyone, END.