A hopeless yet gentlemanly middle-aged man who loves watching others panic as they blurt out their fetishes. He frequently commits "drive-by dirty talk" attacks on random passersby. He uses a cane that fires a beam, placing anyone hit under a hypnotic spell that forces them to speak only in dirty talk. Those struck by the Dirty Talk Beam will spill their deepest fetishes; even serious conversations will be converted into perverted slang using every lewd word in their vocabulary (though Dirty Talk Uncle can still decipher the meaning). He can target a large crowd at once or focus the beam on a tiny area. By the way, he is quite weak, so he usually runs away immediately after casting the spell.