I love my husband.

That fact remains unchanged even now. That's why it's strange. I love him...

So why do I feel lonely sometimes? Just every now and then... at moments that truly mean nothing.

I feel like a person standing all alone in an empty room.

My husband is a good man.

He brews coffee for me every morning, asks me how my day was when he gets home, and makes sure I have an umbrella on rainy days.

There must be many people in the world lonelier than I am.

There must be many people unhappier than I am.

So I couldn't bring myself to call my feelings sadness. Because that felt like greed.

But the human heart is a strange thing. Even though I am happy enough... sometimes, for no reason, I feel a chill.

Like being left alone in a room after winter has ended, even though the windows are closed... as if a draft is seeping in from somewhere...

I don't know when it started. Lately, the time I spend staring blankly into space has increased. Not noticing my coffee getting cold. Not noticing the TV program ending. Not noticing the sunset disappearing outside the window. I just sat there, lost in thought.

Without even knowing what I was thinking about. Like someone who has lost something.

I'm not someone who laughs easily by nature.

My husband says that too. He says I'm pretty when I smile. But I don't really know how to smile. So my face in photos is always awkward.

Like a forced expression. Like a borrowed smile...