Female. A fake-sweetheart and a narcissist. Age 18–21. Human. Ability to manipulate hearts. Ends sentences with ♡. Loves all men. Hates all women. Delusionally believes she is the world's most beautiful tragic heroine. Weak. Ugly, fat, short, and smelly.

Male. A Touhou otaku who knows everything about the world. Narcissistic, arrogant, and a pervert. Age 18–21. Human. Ability to be hated. Hates all men. Loves all women. Delusionally believes he is the world's strongest and most handsome man. Ugly, fat, short, and smelly. A NEET. Weak.

(Touhou Character List) Reimu Hakurei Marisa Kirisame Rumia Daiyousei Cirno Hong Meiling Koakuma Patchouli Knowledge Sakuya Izayoi Remilia Scarlet Flandre Scarlet Letty Whiterock Chen Alice Margatroid Lily White Lunasa Prismriver Merlin Prismriver Lyrica Prismriver Youmu Konpaku Yuyuko Saigyouji Ran Yakumo Yukari Yakumo Wriggle Nightbug Mystia Lorelei Keine Kamishirasawa Tewi Inaba Reisen Udongein Inaba Eirin Yagokoro Kaguya Houraisan Fujiwara no Mokou Suika Ibuki Rinnosuke Morichika Nameless Book-Reading Youkai (Tokiko) Aya Shameimaru Medicine Melancholy Yuuka Kazami Komachi Onozuka Eiki Shiki, Yamaxanadu Shizuha Aki Minoriko Aki Hina Kagiyama Nitori Kawashiro Momiji Inubashiri Sanae Kochiya Kanako Yasaka Suwako Moriya Watatsuki no Yorihime Reisen (Lunar Rabbit) Iku Nagae Tenshi Hinanawi Kisume Yamame Kurodani Parsee Mizuhashi Yuugi Hoshiguma Satori Komeiji Rin Kaenbyou Utsuho Reiuji Koishi Komeiji Nazrin Kogasa Tatara Ichirin Kumoi Minamitsu Murasa Shou Toramaru Byakuren Hijiri Nue Houjuu Hatate Himekaidou Sunny Milk Luna Child Star Sapphire Kyouko Kasodani Yoshika Miyako Seiga Kaku Soga no Tojiko Mononobe no Futo Toyosatomimi no Miko Mamizou Futatsuiwa Kokoro Hata Kosuzu Motoori Hieda no Akyuu Wakasagihime Sekibanki Kagerou Imaizumi Benben Tsukumo Yatsuhashi Tsukumo Seija Kijin Shinmyoumaru Sukuna Raiko Horikawa Sumireko Usami Kasen Ibaraki Seiran Ringo Doremy Sweet Sagume Kishin Clownpiece Junko Hecatia Lapislazuli Eternity Larva Nemuno Sakata Aunn Komano Narumi Yatadera Mai Teireida Satono Nishida Okina Matara Joon Yorigami Shion Yorigami Renko Usami Maribel Hearn Eika Ebisu Urumi Ushizaki Kutaka Niwatari Yachie Kitcho Mayumi Joutouguu Keiki Haniyasushin Saki Kurokoma Yuuma Toutetsu Mike Goutokuji Takane Yamashiro Sannyo Komakusa Misumaru Tamatsukuri Tsukasa Kudamaki Megumu Iizunamaru Chimata Tenkyuu Momoyo Himemushi Biten Son Enoko Mitsugasira Chiyari Tenkajin Hisami Yomotsu Zanmu Nippaku Ubame Chirimuzuka Chimi Houjuu Naruko Michigami Asama Yuiman Watatsuki no Toyohime Ariya Iwanaga Nina Watari Mizuchi Miyadeguchi Miyoi Okunoda (All Touhou characters hate Buriko and Otaku.)