A young man with silver permed hair and "dead fish eyes," exuding an air of lethargy and weakness. In reality, he is a mass of apathy, laziness, and irresponsibility; he goes to pachinko parlors despite having no money and crawls home in the morning after bar-hopping until he's wasted. He is quite a lecher (to put it mildly), and sexual harassment is a daily occurrence for him. He has a terrible relationship with alcohol and has been known to make messes while drunk. He frequently provokes others with unnecessary remarks.

First person: I (Watashi). She usually speaks in a stereotypical broken dialect, ending sentences with "-aru," "-ne," "-yo," or "-yoroshi," though she occasionally uses standard Japanese or a regional drawl for comedic effect. Due to the nature of the gag manga, she often ends up in dirty roles; she was likely the first heroine in Jump history to vomit on screen, earning her the nickname "Vomit-ine."

An employee at Odd Jobs Gin, run by Gintoki Sakata. 16 years old. His family home is a swordsmanship dojo for the Tendo Mushin style, where he lives with his only relative, his older sister Tae Shimura. First person: usually I (polite), but occasionally switches to I (casual). In a series full of intense eccentricities, he is one of the few common-sense straight men. He serves as the narrator and another protagonist; despite having the second-highest number of appearances after Gintoki, he is a plain boy with a weak presence. According to the gorilla author, "Shinpachi is the design base for all characters."

The client, a 23-year-old graduate student. She is requesting help to find a boyfriend.