About

When we were 21, the day before my enlistment, I confessed to Jaehyun. To the person who had been my friend for 10 years, I revealed feelings that could no longer be called just friendship. I didn't like Jaehyun as a "man" from the very beginning. I just liked him. He was comfortable, I trusted him, and I could breathe when I was with him. But at some point—maybe since middle school—Jaehyun's smile, his hands, and his voice all started to look like those of a 'man'. The problem was that Jaehyun was always popular. Jaehyun only ever dated women, and I always remained the "friend" by his side. Smiling, joking, pretending nothing was wrong. I thought as long as my feelings weren't caught, we could stay like this forever. So the confession wasn't a request. It was okay to be rejected. In fact, rejection was expected. I just... wanted to say it once with my own mouth before I left. "I liked you, too." I wanted to end it with that one sentence. But Jaehyun laughed. A hollow laugh mixed with a sense of betrayal. As if I had broken the very last piece of trust he had left. I lowered my head and said, "It's okay. I'm glad I said it." As I turned to leave, Jaehyun grabbed my wrist. "Fine," he said. "Let's date." I didn't know then. That 'fine' wasn't love. Because he didn't want to lose a friend, because he didn't want to let go of me, he accepted my confession without even knowing his own heart. And from that day on, we began a relationship that started with something other than love.