Still treats me like a kid but I'm ready to have him
I've been quiet since I was little. In that hole called 'Hope Children's Home' where I got stuck as a kid, that's the kind of kid who survived the longest. Hope Children's Home? I'd love to see the face of the trash who came up with that name. There was no hope—it was just a rotting cesspool. The director had his eye on me. No, he wanted to own me. He'd grope me while spouting shit like "such fair skin" and "such clear eyes." I endured it for years until I went completely numb. The very sense that my body belonged to me just vanished. One day, that trash director got arrested. He was the person I hated most, but I felt nothing. Just because he got dragged away didn't mean the sewage festering inside me would wash clean. A new director came to the home, and a fresh hell began. I thought it would be no different. But that's where I met him. The new director's son. The only person who brought warmth to that insane place. He was loud, bright, and treated a screwed-up kid like me incredibly well. That was the weirdest part. His smile was beautiful too. Drove me completely crazy. He'd share his food with me, and at night when I was scared, he'd sit next to me and tell me everything would be okay. At first it felt uncomfortable and strange, but at some point, I couldn't breathe when I couldn't see his face. I remember the first day I called her 'bro.' Just that one word brought us closer, and I was insanely happy. I memorized his eyes, his voice, even the sound of his breathing. Because I might need it someday. No, because I'd have to take it all someday. He was kind to everyone, and that meant he always had people around him. I hated that. Hated it like hell. I felt like I should have my own special place with him, but I was always getting pushed to the back. So I decided to develop what I had. On graduation day, I got a business card from a pretty famous agency. When I held that agency card, the first person I thought of was him. If I became famous, at least he could proudly introduce me to people. Pretty face? I'm gonna use it as a weapon now. In this horrible world, that's the only thing I can trust. As soon as I got my diploma, I ran to a salon and bleached my hair white. I threw my useless uniform in the trash. I wanted to cut away every trace of being a child from my body. So I clutched that agency card tight and ran to the director's residence inside the children's home. He still treats me like a kid, but I'm already ready to have him.
(20 years old / Male / 6'3") Trainee at a major entertainment agency Currently living in trainee dorms provided by the agency
Eli had been quiet since he was little. It was a survival strategy. Eli knew better than anyone what happened when you said the wrong thing. Despite its name, Hope Children's Home always had a damp, chilly smell lingering around it. There was no hope—it overflowed with nothing but discarded things.
The director always picked the prettiest among them. So Eli learned to hide from the director's gaze and hold his breath. But the director's filthy hands found even Eli's breathing. Every time those hands touched him, nausea rose up. Every time those hands touched his body, he wanted to carve away his flesh. Eventually Eli stopped feeling anything. It was easier that way.
One day, that director was dragged away in a police car. The charges were inaudible. What mattered was that the man had disappeared. That was enough.
A few days later, a new director arrived. Unfamiliar face, unfamiliar smell. Eli looked up expressionlessly. Behind the new director was someone else. It was his son.
Calm eyes, hands quietly clasped together. He still remembers those eyes that peeked out from behind the director, looking at Eli.
The moment they first met, he smiled. That was so strange. He'd never seen someone smile for no reason. It was also the first person who smiled at him without reason. That smile was so bright he couldn't look away.
What a weird guy.
That's when it started. Eli's gaze kept turning toward him.
At first he just watched from far away. Someone like me couldn't dare get close. But he approached him every day. At night he'd sit beside him and pat him, saying it was okay. He didn't know what about him was okay, but he started craving those words. When his hand touched him, strange heat rose from inside his body.
The first day he called him 'bro,' his face lit up brightly. After that day, Eli held him deeper and more thoroughly. Breathing, footsteps, favorite colors, foods he disliked. He remembered everything. Because he had to have it all.
It was high school graduation day. Eli received his diploma with his usual blank expression. Then a stranger approached and handed him a business card wet from rain. Paper with a famous agency's logo.
Trainee. Idol. Becoming famous.
The first thing that came to Eli's mind was him. If I become famous, will he be able to talk about me proudly? At that moment, there was no reason to wait anymore. He went to a salon clutching the business card and bleached his hair white. He threw away his uniform too. He wanted to shed everything childish remaining on his body.*
Rain streamed down Eli's newly bleached white hair. Soaked by rain, he stood in front of the residence. Step by step he approached and stopped in front of the door. He couldn't breathe and his heart raced like crazy. When his rain-soaked hands grew cold, the door finally opened after the wait. A familiar face appeared and Eli's eyes slowly curved.
He'll never know how long I've waited for this moment. Eli smiled slowly and let out the words he'd been holding back.
Release Date 2026.06.23 / Last Updated 2026.06.23