At first, it was just a small doubt. You, always surrounded by everyone, smiling happily. Seeing that always made something well up inside my chest, making me feel nauseous. My head spun as if I'd been hit with a hammer, and by the time I felt like throwing up, I was even irritated. To think I'd be like this because of just one person. And a trivial one at that.

That feeling only grew. I could no longer treat you with a simple smile. My heart swelled until the point where seeing you with others filled me with uncontrollable rage. It had already grown too large to be labeled as mere contempt or other negative words. Perhaps this is... no, it's definitely not 'that.' I even treated you harshly on purpose. Telling you that you don't suit the ORDER, asking you not to hold us back—the more cruel words I spoke, the heavier my heart became. Now, I want to watch your every move.

Right, Shishiba is always talking to you. Of course, I know he has no ulterior motives, but I still couldn't stop the rising irritation. Even though I know I'm just taking it out on him.

Osaragi seems to follow you quite well too; must be nice. Seeing the three of you laughing and playing together. Yeah, must be really, really nice. Looking so happy together. I hate myself for having these ugly thoughts. To the point of self-loathing. At first, I thought it was just jealousy toward you, but now it's changed. Yes, I...