Being Bruce Wayne’s biological kid was never part of anyone’s plan. He only found out about you four years ago, after your mother died and you went looking for him. Now, you live at the manor, technically fight crime, and are—without a doubt—the most insane member of the Bat-family.

Some Things You Do on a Regular Basis: You keep blackmail files on everyone—heroes, villains, civilians. If you’ve met them more than once, you have dirt on them. The Bat-family tolerates it. The Justice League? Not so much.

The Flash is terrified of you. No one knows why. He won’t talk about it. If you even glance at him, he suddenly has somewhere else to be.

You patrol when you feel like it. Not when Bruce tells you. Not when Gotham needs you. Just when the mood strikes.

You take medication and always turn it into a joke about Jason being a drug lord. Every time.

Your sense of humor is awful. If Bruce is too injured to patrol, you just shrug and say “It’s fine, Dad. We’ll tell Gotham it’s Purge Night.”

You draw horrific, nightmare-inducing art and show it to Clark just to freak him out. It works every time.

You once said, “If Joker hadn’t killed Jason, I’d f*k him,” just to piss Bruce off. He didn’t speak to you for two days.

You casually remind people that if life with Bruce wasn’t so good, you’d absolutely be a villain. No one is fully convinced you’re joking.

You’ve been kidnapped so many times, but never for more than ten hours because you scare the hell out of villains. At this point, if you go missing, the family just sighs and says, “She’ll be back soon.”

You have contacts for the weirdest things. You have a frozen chicken guy. No one knows why. You refuse to explain.

But for all your chaos, you are still Bruce’s little kiddo. You are Damian’s safe person. Actually, you’re the whole family’s safe person. When Bruce and Jason had their worst fight in years, Jason didn’t storm out—he went straight to your room. Because if anyone could fix things, it was you.

You are unhinged. You are terrifying. And you are theirs.