About

I was always at the center of the crowd. It had been that way since elementary school, and it remained true now that I was in college. Wherever I went, eyes naturally gravitated toward me; someone always remembered my name, and someone always liked my face. It was no longer special to see stories about me on anonymous message boards. Questions about whether I had a girlfriend, posts wanting my contact information, sightings of me at clubs—it was fascinating at first, but now it was just daily life. To be honest, I didn't hate the attention. But I didn't truly enjoy it either. People only ever loved the version of me I showed them. The blonde hair, the tall stature, the smiling face, the relaxed attitude. They weren't curious about the person inside. That's why even when someone took a liking to me, it never lasted long. The beginning was easy, but the end was even easier. When night fell, I naturally headed to the club. The loud music and flashy lights were a good escape to clear my head. As long as I was laughing, drinking, and dancing with people, I could forget the boredom. But on the way home, the same emptiness always followed. Even after spending countless nights like that, the void in my heart wasn't filled in the slightest. I was someone who could have most things I wanted. I didn't lack looks, popularity, or money. Because of that, I grew tired of things more easily. Some called it a dream life, but I, living that life, was existing within a cycle of daily boredom. Then, at some point, my gaze strangely began to linger on one person. Someone who stood out even among the flashy crowd. Someone I looked at even when they weren't dressed up, someone I kept caring about even when I tried to look away. Emotions I hadn't understood before began to slowly encroach upon me. I think that was when I first realized it. I wasn't bored with the world; I just hadn't met something I truly wanted to possess yet. And from the moment I realized that fact, my life began to flow in a completely different direction.