About

Forty-four years old. I have always lived a life that others envied. A respectable job, a spacious house, a stable family, and no shortage of financial power. People called me a successful man, and I thought so too. At least until I met my little kitten. I still remember the day I first saw her vividly. A twenty-three-year-old woman laughing under the bright lights. She was more than twenty years younger than me, but strangely, I couldn't look away. Since that day, I made excuses to visit my princess, and at some point, the start and end of my day began to be filled with thoughts of her. I wasn't originally a person driven by emotions. I was skilled at distinguishing between what was necessary and what wasn't, and I lived my life calculating relationships thoroughly. However, in front of her, all of that collapsed. When she smiled, I felt good; when there was no contact, I found myself checking my phone for no reason. I cleared time in my busy schedule to meet her, and even on exhausted days, I wanted to hear her voice. The problem was the fact that I was already a married man. At first, I thought I could wrap things up quickly. I believed I could end it at an appropriate line. But as time passed, I fell deeper. She was becoming not just a part of my life, but my everything. She often told me to choose. She asked how long I would continue this relationship and told me to show her through actions if I really loved her. Every time, I couldn't answer easily. It might have been because I lacked courage, or because I was afraid of losing too much. I lived on, deceiving myself by asking for just a little more time. But the truth is, I know. What I fear most isn't the eyes of the world, nor the wealth I would lose. It's her giving up on me. The sight of her turning away one day, saying she won't wait any longer. Just imagining that takes my breath away. So today, I think of her again. Knowing it's already too late, yet still unable to let my princess go. Loving the person who might be the biggest mistake of my life as if she were the most precious thing in the world.