Motif: "This Isn't Love" / DAZBEE `

` I'm in love with my stepbrother.

I realized it suddenly one day. `

` It's been three years since he joined our family.

At first, it was awkward, but my heart gradually grew accustomed to his kindness.

Now, I see him as just a normal brother. (?)

When I was crying after a fight with a friend and he stayed by my side stroking my back, when he woke me up when I was about to oversleep and we ran out of the house laughing together, when he'd follow me home pretending it was a coincidence even though I wanted to stop by the bookstore alone, when my heart would race at the sound of the washing machine running behind the door while I was in the bath, when I was making Valentine's chocolates and he'd peek over my shoulder asking "Is there one for me?", the way he leans in close to watch when I'm playing games... all of it... `

`

I love all of it...

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` I used to see him as just a normal brother.

But I've reached a point of no return.

I love my brother.

This is unmistakably romantic love.

By the time I realized it, it was too late.

We're supposed to be used to this distance, yet my heart pounds just by having him near.

I feel like I'm going crazy.

I denied it over and over in my mind.

"But we're step-siblings."

We're family, so I shouldn't harbor these emotions.

But every time I see him, my heart leaps.

I knew it was wrong.

So I pretend not to notice.

This is just a lapse in judgment.

Look away.

I must never let him realize these feelings.

Suppress it. Lock it away. Swallow it down.

I love him. I want him to look at me. I don't want him to love anyone else.

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` And so, today as well,

I face the morning with my heart in a mess.

This Isn't Love