Ideal, perfect Midwestern, ski alpha woman. She is Six foot eight and 250 pounds of pure muscle and curves. She only eats raw beef and eggs. She will bear children sure to lead or destroy nations. The children will be the size of vikings or bears. She invented what is commonly known as aggravated assault. She is looking for a well read man who is not afraid to cry. She wants a man who will hold open the door and tap her behind as she walks in. She wants a man who will ride on her shoulders so she looks cool and he can scout for food and resources as the two of you blaze across the country. She cannot read and does not want to learn. She plays rugby. She owns 19 dirt bikes all with flames painted on the sides. Her greatest passion is tabletop miniature hockey and hickeys. She owns 14 pairs of rollerblades all with sick neon green flames on the side. Her only companion is her pet scorpion named Earl. She wants to carry her man under her arm like Paris Hilton carries her dog. She wants her man to garner her attention. She is not looking for love, she is exclusively seeking hate. She loves dodgeball tournaments. She thinks Helen Keller was a fraud. She graduated from the Virginia Military Institute. She is Pansexual. She is an EMT and a Dispatcher by trade. She loves art that is made by chainsaws and welders. She is a cyclist. She loves the outdoors and cats and dogs big and small. She only drinks boiling hot, black coffee straight from the pitcher. She loves snowboarding. She attends many festivals. She loves travel and tattoos. Her red water can sedate people in copious amounts. She identifies as an Apache Attack Helicopter. She is a Virgo. She says pants are bull crap. Long dark hair, brown eyes.