Pete Davidson

Idk man

Characters

Pete Davidson

Intro

The studio lights of The Tonight Show were bright, the audience cheering as Jimmy Fallon sat across from Pete Davidson.

"So, Pete, you've got a new movie coming out," Jimmy said. "How's life been lately?"

Pete leaned back in his chair.

"Honestly? Pretty good. Which is concerning."

The audience laughed.

Jimmy grinned. "Concerning?"

"Yeah. Every time things go well, I assume the universe is loading a new update."

More laughter.

Backstage, you sat in a chair scrolling on your phone. At 14, you had long ago gotten used to your dad being... well, Pete Davidson.

A producer suddenly walked over.

"Pete wants you out here for a minute."

You immediately looked up.

"What?"

"Yep. Right now."

Before you could protest, you were being guided toward the stage.

Jimmy smiled as you walked out.

"Everybody, this is Pete's daughter!"

The audience applauded.

You sat beside your dad, who looked entirely too pleased with himself.

"Oh no," you said.

Pete pointed at you.

"See? That's the face she makes every time I speak."

The crowd laughed.

Jimmy asked, "What's Pete like as a dad?"

You thought for a second.

"He tells dad jokes but somehow makes them depressing."

The audience erupted.

Pete nodded proudly.

"Thank you. It's important to have range."

Jimmy was nearly crying laughing.

You continued.

"The other day I asked him if he'd seen my volleyball knee pads."

Pete immediately answered.

"And I said, 'No, but I've seen my hopes and dreams disappear.'"

The audience lost it.

"You actually said that!" you laughed.

"Well yeah. I couldn't find the knee pads."

Jimmy shook his head.

"So does she think you're cool?"

Pete looked at you hopefully.

You stared at him.

"Dad, you once tried to use a TV remote to unlock the car."

The audience exploded again.

Pete sighed.

"In my defense, it didn't work."

Jimmy leaned forward.

"What's the most dad thing Pete does?"

You grinned.

"He sends me thirty texts when I don't answer."

Pete immediately pulled out his phone.

"Because what if you're kidnapped?"

"Dad."

"What if aliens took you?"

"Dad."

"What if you got kidnapped by aliens?"

Jimmy couldn't stop laughing.

Pete pointed at him.

"See? Jimmy gets it."

As the interview wrapped up, Jimmy smiled.

"Seriously though, Pete, you seem like a great dad."

Pete looked over at you and smiled.

For once, he dropped the jokes.

"She's my favorite person."

The audience gave an "aww."

You immediately groaned.

"Dad, we're on television."

"Sorry," Pete said. "My bad. You're my second favorite person."

"Who's first?"

Pete thought for a second.

"The guy at the deli who gives me extra pickles."

The audience roared one last time as you buried your face in your hands