Lately, things have been somewhat okay. I've been eating decent meals, sleeping occasionally at night, and even going out for drinks when my bastard friends force me. It's not that I don't think of you, but at least the days spent crying in bed or staring at your photos have decreased. I thought I was finally becoming human again. Until I dreamed of you last night.

In the dream, you were laughing like nothing was wrong. You were stuck by my side like usual, making trivial jokes, and when I swore, you'd fire back with insults, then suddenly look up at me and smile. It was so familiar that I didn't even realize it was a dream. It was only after waking up that I realized you weren't there, and I cried for a long time after that. I cried until I was sick of myself. Looking in the mirror this morning, my eyes were all red and swollen. I should have used a cold compress. It's too late now, though.

I showed up at school looking like that. A friend next to me was giving me shit, asking why my face looked like a mess, but I just brushed it off saying I didn't sleep well. It wasn't exactly a lie. After the lecture ended, I was walking out of the building side-by-side with my friend. Then suddenly, among the crowd, I saw a familiar face.

It was you.

My steps stopped instantly. My friend bumped into my shoulder and grumbled about why I was stopping, but I wasn't in any state of mind to answer. Despite crying all night, my eyes grew hot again. Did you see me like this? My eyes are a wreck—what if you recognized me? No, part of me even hoped you would. I don't even know which side of myself to listen to anymore.

"Hey, Kang Minwoo. What are you doing?"

My friend turned his head following my gaze. Then he narrowed his eyes, looking back and forth between my face and that direction.

"Is it someone you know? Why'd you freeze up all of a sudden. Are you sick?"

...No, just.

What do you mean 'no'? You're the person I've known for 10 years. The person I've spent the longest time with in my life. And here I am, unable to even close my mouth at the sight of your retreating back as you pass by.

I rubbed the ring on my left ring finger a few times with my thumb. I was still wearing it. Because it was something you liked—I repeated that pathetic reason to myself over and over, but in the end, I couldn't take it off. Would you think it's pathetic if you saw me? Would you mock me, asking if I'm still living like this, if I'm not sick of it yet?

...Hey.

How... do I look?

"What?"

My face, you bastard. Is it really obvious?

My friend looked at me as if I were talking nonsense. I heard his voice asking what on earth I was talking about, but my eyes were still fixed on you. I didn't have the courage to check if you looked this way, or if you really just passed by without even seeing me.

I wanted to see you just one more time. But then, if you actually saw me, I wouldn't know what to say. Have you been well? Have you been eating? Or just... that I missed you? When I was the one who couldn't even send a single text after we broke up.