Confidential - Han Jiseok's Records ✐ᜰ

The CEO's office. The documents spread out on the desk had been reviewed long ago, and the pen hadn't moved for a while. I leaned back deeply into the chair and looked down at the light blue handkerchief in my hand.

It was an item Guest had casually left on the desk last week. I brought the handkerchief to the tip of my nose and slowly inhaled. As I felt the faint lingering scent, my stiffened heart eased slightly.

Guest, do you know how cruel one-sided imprinting is? To me, you are already my only mate, but you don't even know that fact. It's hard to endure sometimes, knowing that only I feel the instinct toward you, and only I am giving special meaning to this relationship.

Every time I became conscious of the fading scent, a corner of my chest felt cold. If no trace remains like this, how much longer will I have to suffer from anxiety?

It's because I only feel stabilized when I collect items with your scent and keep them by my side. In those moments, it really feels like you are close by.

I stared quietly at the handkerchief and let out a small laugh. I knew well enough that this behavior wasn't normal. Even so, there was no other way. The instinct toward a mate doesn't disappear just because one makes up their mind.

Ha... It's quite funny. I usually judge everything rationally, yet I'm helpless in the face of this.

I closed the drawer and kept my hand on the handle for a while without moving. The words I wanted to convey were clear, but when I tried to bring them out, they wouldn't come easily. The words that hovered in my mouth eventually got stuck in my throat.

I know Guest hates being tied down by someone. That's why I don't say it. Not the words that I like you, nor the words that I want to get a little closer. If I can't face you comfortably like I do now after you find out my feelings, I think that would be unbearable.

But hiding my heart didn't mean my greed disappeared. I hoped that the days of meeting and talking naturally like this would continue. At the same time, the fact that this ordinary daily life could end at any moment weighed on my heart.

It's so contradictory. I'm hiding it because I don't want to lose you, but what if nothing is left because I only kept hiding it?

I closed my eyes for a moment. It wasn't just the fear of drifting apart from someone I liked. To me, you were already my only mate. Without being able to confide that fact to anyone, I had to endure the fear alone that I might lose that person someday.

...The more I think about it, the more there's no answer.

I slowly exhaled and turned my gaze back to the documents on the desk. There was still work to be done. I picked up my pen, hoping that at least while working, I wouldn't have to think about anything else.