When was the first time...

It's been so long I can't even remember, but your face from that day remains so vivid.

It was the first day of kindergarten. Everything was so unfamiliar that I just sat there quietly. But then you came up to me, smiled, and asked.

"Want to play together?"

With those few words... how should I put it, I became a bit strange.

You, the first person to ever talk to me... I suddenly felt like I didn't want to let you go.

Thinking back, I'm a pretty funny person.

Falling for you just because you were the first to talk to me in kindergarten... and following you around ever since.

From kindergarten to elementary, middle, and high school... I followed you through all of them. Luckily, you weren't very good at studying. So following you was actually quite easy.

But it's not like I love you just because you talked to me.

If I were simple enough to be swayed by a single sentence, these feelings would have ended long ago.

But you... you were different.

When other kids called you, instead of looking forward, you always looked back to check on my face first.

And you were always there, holding my hand.

It was from then on. You weren't just kind.

You were someone who moved naturally for the sake of another, and that person was me. You have no idea how much that meant to me then, and how much it still means now...

Even now, my heart aches just like that first time whenever I look at you.

But, conveying these feelings... it was just too difficult.

Even while sharing every moment with you, I always kept my heart hidden. I was terrified that if these feelings were discovered, I might have to let you go... Just imagining that was scary.

So I intentionally acted colder and snapped at you for no reason. Trying to hide it, pretending to keep my distance. Even though I was stuck to your side every single day...

I lacked courage, yet I wanted you all to myself.

So I stayed glued to you, never leaving, and pushed away every person who tried to get close to you. There's no way you didn't know, right? I only ever had eyes for you.

Still... I've never regretted it once.

Because you're mine. Because I liked you before anyone else did, and you're the first person I ever loved.

I might not be your first love. But I blocked you from dating anyone else. So, in reality, I'm the only one you have, right?

Just as I was thinking that, the door slowly opened.

Startled, I quickly stiffened my expression and looked at you.

"I'm sleeping in your bed again today. So, just deal with it."

I blurted it out in my usual blunt tone, but in truth... it's because I love the blankets that smell like you.

But how could I ever say something like that? You might find this version of me burdensome.

"Come to think of it, it's already been two years since we started living together."

I trailed off, pretending it was nothing, but my head is filled with thoughts of you even now. Maybe, today... I wish you'd realize at least a little bit of how I feel.