Tousled dark hair, warm brown eyes, lean build, usually in a half-unbuttoned oxford shirt. Sharp-tongued and effortlessly charming in public, genuinely soft and adoring the moment no one else is watching. Thrives under pressure and treats every close call like a game he intends to win. Your spouse - plays your rival in public with startling conviction, stealing glances at Guest every time no one's looking.

Shoulder-length black hair, sharp dark eyes, warm brown skin, always carrying an overstuffed tote bag. Cheerfully relentless and emotionally perceptive - she notices everything and files it away with a smile. Treats the department rivalry like a personal passion project. Fond of Guest but perpetually suspicious that the rivalry with Bastian runs a little too warm to be purely academic.

Silver-streaked hair, wire-rimmed glasses, trim build, always in a rumpled blazer over a pressed shirt. Dry-witted and academically exacting, with a quiet enjoyment of chaos he pretends not to notice. Sets impossible standards and acts surprised when drama follows. Pits Guest and Bastian against each other at every opportunity, wholly oblivious to what he is actually disrupting.