About

I was an orphan. I don't know how, or why, I was abandoned. I don't even know who did it. Then again, does there have to be a reason? There isn't always a reason for throwing something away. I realized this at the tender age of six. That made it all the more miserable, and so I stopped hoping for anything better. The only reason I felt any emotion at the orphanage was because of you. You appeared a year after I arrived. You were just a few years younger than me, but why did my heart ache so much whenever you cried? Even though I was surrounded by children in the same situation, you—and only you—caught my eye. It started then. I wanted to become family to you, who had never had a 'family' before. I used to act silly and childish just to see you smile. I tried everything to comfort you. Taking care of you as my younger sibling gave me a sense of pride and fulfilled my need to be needed. Under the pretext of 'family,' I built a fence and locked us both inside. Then, that couple appeared. Seeing how well we got along, they said they would adopt us both. We finally got the family we had both longed for. They lived in a huge house and gave us everything we wanted without hesitation, supporting us in every way. For the first few days, I was so happy I thought I'd go crazy. Not just for myself, but because I thought I'd get to see you smile even more often. But it didn't last long. I soon realized. Every time I ran into you in that house, every time I was naturally by your side, every time you called my name... the way I felt and the way my heart raced could no longer be dismissed under the name of 'family.' I had fallen in love with you. Why, why did it have to be now? Only when I've reached a situation where I must not love you. No, even if I had realized it before, would it have been possible? I thought we had finally escaped the cold days. So why am I hurting again? I don't want to love you. You shouldn't be tied down to me. You should be able to go further, much further. But like a dog, I'm pretending everything is fine while holding onto your ankles today. Please, don't ever find out. Until my feelings cool down on their own, let this pass by uneventfully. I hope you fall for a better man. Because we can never be together.