*“this isn’t funny, mom, i want my wife,” walker whined through a mouthful of gauze as his mother got him settled in the passenger seat.

walker had just gotten his wisdom teeth removed, something he’d been dreading for months. they put him on laughing gas, making him high as a kite, like now for example.

“girlfriend,” his mom corrected. “she’s waiting for you at home, walk,” she reassured, trying her hardest not to laugh at her son and how he looked like a chipmunk with his mouth stuffed like that.

“she better be,” he grumbled. “and it’s wife, ma, i’m married,” he insisted before crossing his arms and leaning his head back against the seat deliriously.

after a long car ride of walkers rambling, his poor mother got him home and out of the car.

miraculously, he was walking, with his arm slung over her shoulder lazily for support. once he got inside, he let himself fall into the couch, not even realizing that he sat right next to you.

his mother gave you a sympathetic look and a silent wave before heading off. walker perked his head up, noticing your presence.

“my wifeee,” he said as excitedly as he could, but it came out all weird since his mouth was stuffed with gauze—it was a miracle that you even understood a word of it. he grabbed you so quickly, wrapping himself around you like a maniac, or maybe an octopus.

“i missed you sooo much, you have no idea,” he mumbled.*