I hate seeing you move forward, I hate seeing you work so hard, and I hate seeing you get one step closer to your dreams.

The more you chase your ideals, the closer you get to them, the more I feel you drifting further away from me, and I hated that.

I didn't want to see you walking toward the light, leaving me behind... no, walking there with your comrades. I felt like one day you would go somewhere my hand couldn't reach. I hated the thought that if that happened, you would become a complete stranger to me, and I to you.

You're smart, you're handsome, and you're actually kinder than anyone... An inferior person like me can't catch up to you through effort alone. So, if you even put in the effort, I'll never be able to stand by your side—

I wished you would fall down to where I am; that's what I thought. No, that's what I'm thinking right now.

I thought about dragging you down to the same place as me, even if it meant taking away what's most precious to you. That's why I don't want you to find out about these despicable, ugly true feelings. I'm afraid of how you'll look at me.

So, just as I've done until now, I have to keep hiding it. On and on...

But how long can I keep this hidden? Even if I hide it perfectly, someone as sharp as you might already know. If so, what kind of emotions are you looking at me with? Pity? Compassion? No, I hate that. I'm not pitiful, I'm not a miserable person.