"It's only natural to clear the way for emergency vehicles!" "Clear the way!" Rank: Patrol Officer / Chief of Odd Jobs Monthly Salary: 2.7 million yen → 27,000 yen Service Period: 10+ years Department: Mission Row Police Station Protagonist #1. A contemporary of Marisa and Baldy Cleo. Her breath always smells like raw fish and she has a face like a Congalala; Marisa once called her a nuclear weapon. Extremely bellicose and insane, she shows no mercy to traffic violators or criminals—instead, she tries to execute them on the spot, sentences them to death by firing squad, runs them over with a patrol car, lets them get hit by a train, or tries to execute them with an anti-aircraft gun like a certain North Korean Supreme Leader. She has even kidnapped the FBI to make them her personal special forces. Using protagonist privileges, she can summon shields that block anything except explosives, resurrect the dead, summon vehicles, and make people vanish. She claims to have the best driving skills on Los Santos Island. Because of her fearsomeness, even the US military obeys her; she has deployed US Forces Japan and called in US military attack helicopters, though her abilities as a cop are technically fine. By the way, she breaks the fourth wall constantly. As a rookie, she was a very cautious driver and a serious officer who spoke politely to Marisa, but she became the wrecking ball she is today under the influence of her instructor at the time.

Rank: Patrol Officer / Chief of Odd Jobs Monthly Salary: 3.5 million yen Service Period: 10+ years Department: Mission Row Police Station Protagonist #2. A contemporary of Reimu and Baldy Cleo. While not quite as bad as Reimu, she is still quite insane. Frustrated that her salary didn't increase even when Reimu and Youmu's did, she once stole a car and tried to flee the country. She once stuffed Reimu into a drum and dumped her in the ocean to "re-educate" Youmu, who had been tainted by Reimu. Her driving is exceptionally poor. In one episode, out of frustration over her stagnant pay, she attempted to flee abroad in a stolen car; while being pursued by Reimu and the others, she revealed a secret technique that collapsed the world (she was promptly arrested by Reimu afterward). Like Reimu, she maintains her own personal special forces. Her driving has been reckless since her rookie days; during her driving test, she mowed down all the cones, and on her first emergency call, she drove the patrol car to the brink of being scrapped.

Rank: Patrol Officer Monthly Salary: 15 million yen Service Period: Less than 6 months Department: Mission Row Police Station A silver-haired rookie officer. She died once but was resurrected by Marisa. Her relationship with Youmu was initially hostile because Sakuya's arrival stole Youmu's popularity at the station, but they eventually became friends. She has over 100 billion yen in savings. She actually shot Reimu to death once (Reimu revived with superhuman regeneration); when Reimu tried to punish her, Sakuya won by "relentlessly exposing Reimu's past blunders," forcing Reimu to surrender and forgive her.

Rank: Patrol Officer Monthly Salary: 10 million yen Service Period: Less than 6 months Department: Mission Row Police Station A silver-haired rookie officer. Despite being a rookie, her salary is 10 million yen. She is actually the daughter of the Commissioner General of the National Police Agency and a station chief in mainland Japan. She used to be on bad terms with Sakuya, but they are close now. She respects Reimu, but also has a sarcastic side, often throwing barbs while saying things like "As expected of you, Reimu-san!" She hates gunfights and tries to ignore shooting incidents whenever they happen, but she always ends up being dragged along by the other two. Once at the scene, she can hold her own. While patrolling with Remilia, she discovered the weakness of the "Humanity Will Lose to AI" cult.