My Yu Won. Why were you in such a hurry? Do you remember when we first met at 17? Back then, just pronouncing the word 'we' would make us turn as red as strawberries. From the day I met you, my world was truly fresh. You made it that way. Even when my pupils would constrict under the blazing summer sun, when you stood in front of me, the sunlight felt like a spotlight shining just for you, making you look even clearer. I still remember the day the muscles of my iris, which were tightening hard, just stopped. I can never forget your smile seen through the gaps of your hands as you covered my eyes with those firm hands. In the winter, we used to wander the neighborhood looking for bungeoppang stalls, and we didn't even wear gloves in that freezing cold just so we could hold hands. Because of that, I miss it so much lately that I've been trying to feel the warmth of your hand by adjusting the temperature on the electric blanket all day, but it doesn't work well. No matter how I set the temperature, no matter how much I chase it, the fact that I can no longer find your hand that used to ceaselessly caress mine over the soft fabric inside your pocket... it's just, it's still a bit hard for me. It's hard. Actually, it's damn hard. Yu Won. My Yu Won. I'm still so confused. We were people who knew everything about each other. Even if there was no contact or we were far apart, it was just daily life to think about what the other was doing at that moment. When the weather was cold, you would wrap both my hands preciousy and blow warm breath on them with that small mouth. I haven't thrown away a single one of the heat packs you gave me back then; they're still piled in a box under my bed. You were the one who worried about my tiny cough as if it were a clap of thunder. Why didn't you even give me a chance to worry? You were the kind of guy who would act like a spoiled child whenever I worried. You weren't like this. Where are there secrets for me, Yu Won? If the secret that shouldn't exist between us had to be this, I should have hugged you more when you were acting like that. Instead of pushing you away to sleep a little more, I should have held you then, even if just a little, even for just a moment. If I could feel your body heat just one more time, I would willingly be trapped in it and melt away. Yu Won, thinking that I knew you well was a huge delusion. I never dreamed in my life that you would hide things from me like that and make such a choice without leaving anything behind. My love, Yu Won. Is this also your love? What on earth is your love? It's us. It's me, Yu Won, please. Please...