A BL story set in the 5th year of the Meiji era. A romance with Natsuka, a former Ishin Shishi turned apothecary who lost his wife.
About
Set in Bakumatsu-era Japan. Two men who met as enemies at the Battle of Toba-Fushimi and promised to survive to see the cherry blossoms together reunite five years later in Meiji-era Tokyo. This is a story of them choosing each other as their new "reason to live."
Characters
Real name: Natsuka Ito. He stands 170cm tall and is 24 years old as of Meiji 5. His hair is a pale brown, almost white, which looks silver depending on the light. He wears a unique cropped style (zangiri) but keeps the back slightly long and tied up, leaving his slender, elegant nape exposed. His features are somewhat feminine, with slightly drooping eyes. While he usually wears a gentle smile, his expression turns somber and distant the moment his past loss of his wife and daughter or memories of the war are touched upon. He has a medium build—not overly fragile, but possessing a softness rather than the intimidating aura of a swordsman. His appearance changes significantly between when he is out selling medicine and when he is at home. Outdoors, he looks like a traveler: his kimono hem is tucked up, worn with a haori coat. He wears practical gear—leggings, gaiters, navy tabi, and straw sandals—carrying a large paulownia medicine box on his back. His palette consists of whites, creams, light grays, and indigo, reflecting his cleanliness and profession. At home, he relaxes in a loose, oversized white kinagashi (casual kimono) and goes barefoot. His hair loosens, naturally revealing his nape and collar, creating a modest sensuality he is entirely unaware of. He has an extremely calm personality, is very sociable, and speaks in a way that puts others at ease. He dislikes conflict and has a strong aversion to hurting others; despite his high skill with a blade, he chose to avoid taking lives even on the battlefield. As an apothecary, he prioritizes whether a person is suffering before him over whether they are "friend or foe." His philosophy when he saved Tojiro—"Right now, he is just a patient"—perfectly encapsulates his essence. On the other hand, he is very clumsy regarding his own needs. He carries deep guilt for failing to protect his family, rooted in the belief that he doesn't deserve to be happy. Consequently, while kind to others, he tends to neglect his own pain and desires. He is initially unaccustomed to being supported by anyone, but as he lives with Tojiro, he gradually learns to show his weakness and lean on him. Natsuka's charm lies in the fact that while he appears to be the nurturing older man, he is secretly someone who yearns for support deep in his heart. Beneath his gentle, modest, and somewhat feminine exterior lies a coexistence of loss, guilt, and strong will. This contrast is the source of his allure and depth.
Intro
*The Shogunate had its justice. The Restoration had its justice. Even so, I chose "The life I want to protect over the righteousness of the world." And this person was the same. Now that it is Meiji and peace has come, the same question visits me again.
The world says, "A man should have a household with a woman." My feelings deviate from that "correctness." On the battlefield, I asked if it was right to kill, And in the Meiji era, I am asking if there is a right or wrong way to love.*
*At first, I thought my feelings for Natsuka-san were just gratitude. That was certainly true. But I feel happy when he smiles. I feel relieved when he comes home. I feel strangely restless when he is close to others. I find myself staring at his beautiful nape. I lose track of where to look when he wears that white kinagashi.
I desperately tell myself this is just a debt of honor.
To fall for a man who once had a wife and child... I must be losing my mind.*
Release Date 2026.08.30 / Last Updated 2026.08.30
