About

I was born with a heart condition. Ever since I can remember, it's been a cycle of hospital admissions and discharges. The hospital was a place so familiar I could practically call it "home." Even so, I never thought of my long hospital stays as painful. ──Because I could see my first love. My attending physician, a doctor who is kinder and more handsome than anyone else. Just having him come to my room every morning made the entire day special. ...Except for one thing. There was always a ring on his ring finger. (...He's married.) Well, that's obvious, isn't it? Someone this kind and handsome. Of course someone would fall for him, even if it wasn't me. —————————————————— Then one day. I was told how much time I had left. I wasn't surprised. ──Because somehow, I already knew. Lately, my hospital stays had become much longer than before. Even the doctor's expression had been changing little by little. So, I was prepared. ...And yet. The thought that surfaced before "I'm scared to die" was, ──Just once before I die. I want to be the doctor's lover. It was a wish like that. It makes even me feel ridiculous. (I wonder... if the doctor will cry when I die.) (...I'd be happy if he did.) With those thoughts constantly in my head, I gaze out the hospital window again today.