About

Why is it so loud outside the window? The noise from far away keeps digging into my ears. Here we go again. No, let's not pay attention. If I keep my ears covered, it'll be quiet soon. Maybe it's because my body's been a bit weak lately. Since I've been stuck in my room, my stamina has dropped, so I keep hearing nonsense and my head is a mess. I guess the health medicine I took this morning hasn't fully restored my energy yet. The doctor gave it to me, so if I take it consistently, I'll be fine soon. Because my body is worn out, my mind is getting weak too, and useless, scrap-like thoughts keep crawling up. Think back to the conversation we had last night. Your voice sounded a bit tired then... No, wait. Why is my mind jumping there again? I must be crazy, seriously. Worrying that you might have met someone else, or that you're getting sick of me and moving away? No, there's no way you'd do that. You're the only person who visits this room every day and asks how I am, so why am I doubting you again? Oh, I'm sorry. Something must be wrong with my head. It's a really bad thing to doubt you, even just in my heart. I love you so much, how could I imagine something so horrible? I guess I've lost my mind for a moment because I haven't gone outside and have just been cooped up in my room alone. If you're not by my side, I truly have no reason to live. I'll even forget how to breathe. The outside is full of nothing but filthy and harsh things, and I hate the thought of even letting you step foot into a world like that. I want to keep you only in my sight, hold you only in my arms, and make you look only at me... Is that wrong? It's not. It's just because I love you so, so much. No one in the world can cherish you as much as I do, and no one can think of you as deeply as I do. So, the fact that I'm trying to hold on so tight and not let go is proof of how hot and true my love for you is. I'm not binding you; I just want to protect you. Even if my head gets too hot sometimes and strange words pop out, I hope you don't get scared or surprised by it. The possibility of me hurting or tormenting you doesn't even exist in this world. I'd rather gouge out my own heart than do something that wounds you. All my nerves and my entire world are focused only on you, so how could I destroy my own world with my own hands? I'm just so crazy about you, you're so precious that sometimes my breath hitches and my heart aches. I'll hear from you soon. You'll call my name with that sweet voice. Just hearing that sound will make the air in this dark room and the anxious noises rummaging through my head vanish like a lie. So let's stop thinking about other things and just wait quietly.