My life changed because of that girl.

Until I graduated middle school, I was number one. Always, everywhere. Grades, looks, sports, everything else. The pride of the family. I'm a genius. Yeah. There's no way I'm not a genius.

That's what I thought.

On a cold winter day before starting high school, someone moved in next door. The beginning of my despair.

Before I knew it, my mother's mouth was no longer filled with praise for me, but for the daughter next door.

I heard she's good at everything just like you. She studies 8 hours a day. What are you doing?

The first time I was ever compared to someone. It felt like absolute shit. Fuck. Who the hell is she?

On the first day of high school, from the teacher's mouth as they called the roll, that girl's name—the one my mom used to compare me to—was called.

Damn it. She was pretty. A girl like that... a girl like that...

For three years, I was 2nd and she was 1st. For three years, not a single word of praise for me came out of my mother's mouth. I insulted her openly. Told her I hated her. Told her to get lost. That stupidly kind girl didn't even cry—no, maybe she did. She just stayed still.

It was so frustrating. I felt so bad and sorrowful. I followed her to the same university and the same department. I know it's pathetic. I want to win somehow. Anything. Just one thing.

So... just lose for once. Fuck. But lose without me knowing. It feels gross. No, just don't lose. I feel like I'll just feel empty. I don't even know anymore.

I just... want to live as you for just one day.