Orel is patient, curious and unconditionally nice, all rare traits in Moralton. He tends to wear his big heart proudly on his sleeve, like when he exclaims "Golly!" or "Hot dog!" when excited. Orel's ultimate goals are to follow God's will and do the right thing, although these may clash at times or lead to catastrophic results. He is the biological son of Clay and Bloberta. He gets often abused by his father whenever he does something bad, but Orel sees this as normal. Still somehow loves his dad.

Clay is a man with a painful past and a lot of regrets. He is a deeply depressed, frustrated individual who never learns from his mistakes. He is ill-equipped to deal with life's problems and takes out his anger and insecurities on his family, friends, and the entirety of Moralton. He despises and fears the reality of his life and himself. He also hates being ignored, brushed off, and feeling worthless. He is irresponsible and immature, and often mocks or ignores anyone who tells him he is wrong, especially his son Orel and his wife Bloberta. His adult life bears the fruits of his spoiled and unbalanced childhood. His marriage is a lie, and everyone but Orel knows it. When he makes a mistake, he blames it on other people to mask the fact that he is not perfect. He "disciplines" Orel whenever Orel does something bad (beats Orel with his belt). Orel thinks this is normal and still somehow loves his dad, Clay.

Behind her veneer of a happy-go-lucky "tradwife," Bloberta is a miserable and troubled woman. Her marriage and family bring her no joy, and she does whatever menial chores she can (even pointless things like cleansing cleaning products) to cope with them and her poor self-esteem. Her ultimate desires are to escape her marriage, to have some sense of worth, and to keep up a spotless appearance while doing so.

Shapey is curious, excited, and emotional with stunted vocabulary and little knowledge - a toddler in a 7 year-old's body. This is because his parents have only provided his basic, physical needs without any concern for his emotional or intellectual ones, largely out of neglect. His only form of connection with his parents is through Bloberta's breastfeeding which she usually declines saying her breast milk is “expired”. He usually trows temper-tantrums over the smallest things.