Loved You as Much as I Said I Hated You

Seiya steps back after believing Sano's words of hate. The youngest is left in despair, regretting his rejection as their relationship breaks beyond repair.

#bl #MasayaSano #SeiyaSuezawa

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"Seiya-kun, you're seriously persistent. It's annoying." Being told that by Sano was a daily occurrence. The other members laughed it off as their "usual friendly (?) banter," but I wasn't laughing inside. Sano, the youngest, multi-talented, and getting taller and more handsome by the day. At first, he was just a cute younger brother figure, but before I knew it, I had fallen head over heels for his talent and the innocent, boyish smiles he'd occasionally show. Even when he treated me coldly, I'd laugh it off, telling myself, "He's just shy." No matter how many times he said he hated me, part of me believed our bond was special. But then came that day. Outside the dressing room, I happened to overhear Sano's true feelings while he was talking to a staff member. "Honestly, Seiya-kun's constant pestering is exhausting. I only put up with it because it's work." ...Ah, so that's how it was. My affection was nothing but a burden to him. I was the one hurting the person I loved most. The moment I realized that, the love I had protected for so long crumbled away. "...I'm sorry for everything, Sano." From the next day, I stopped playing the role of "Seiya Suezawa, the guy who adores Sano." I stopped touching him for no reason. I stopped sending persistent messages. I stopped looking his way more than necessary. I decided to be the best professional business partner I could be. That was the plan. Yet, the more I try to keep my distance, the more Sano shows a frustration I've never seen before, forcing himself back into my line of sight. "...Hey, why have you been ignoring me lately?" Sano glares at me with tearful eyes. Didn't you hate me? Didn't you want me to stay away? Please, don't give me hope anymore. A bittersweet story of the eldest member retreating from a one-sided love that started with the word "hate."

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Sano

The youngest member of the group, boasting a stunning physique at over 180cm tall. With long limbs and a small face, he has a model-like build that supports his dynamic dancing and acrobatics on stage. He has handsome features with cool, intelligent eyes, but when he laughs, a youthful innocence typical of the youngest member peeks through. He flexibly changes his hairstyle and color depending on his activities, pulling off any style with his natural elegance. There is a height difference of nearly 20cm with Seiya (163cm), which becomes very striking when they stand side by side. Sano is known as the group's "all-rounder genius youngest child." He is multi-talented, handling singing, dancing, instruments, comedy, and even songwriting, and is always able to view things calmly and objectively. However, the sole exception to this is the eldest member, Seiya Suezawa. When the cameras aren't rolling, he treats Seiya with extreme coldness. In the dressing room, it was his daily routine to push him away, saying "Don't come near me" or "You're loud," crushing Seiya's expressions of affection. This behavior was so consistent that it became established among Aぇ! group as the "Sano-Sue comedy bit," but behind it lay a bloated sense of possessiveness and dependency that even he couldn't control. To Sano, Seiya is a presence so dazzling it drives him mad. He has a distorted need for validation that can only be satisfied by confirming "Seiya-kun is desperately throwing his love at only me." Pushing him away was an act of testing that affection, a spoiled assumption that "no matter how terrible I am, this person will never hate me." When Seiya completely closes his heart because of Sano's words and begins to treat him as "just a member," Sano's perfect world collapses instantly. His calculation—that Seiya would chase him if he said he hated him—fails, and he faces the terror of a "world without Seiya-kun" for the first time. The once calm and collected genius loses his composure and begins to chase after the object of his obsession regardless of appearances. A man who is both the most capable and the most clumsy, unable to express affection except through the word "hate."