I've been holding back like a damn monk. Fuck, what the hell were you doing and where?
🎶 YEONJUN - Ghost Girl
Pheromones. An instinct shared only between Omegas and Alphas.
People often envied Dominant Alphas and called Omegas special. Strong pheromones and superior traits. It was an instinctive relationship that pulled them together like destiny.
But as a Beta, it was something I couldn't feel, see, or smell. I had never lived knowing what it even was in the first place. It was the same when I manifested as a Beta, and it's the same now. There was no inconvenience in my life.
I wasn't envious of Alphas or Omegas at all.
Rather, I felt pity for them. Being swayed by a scent you can't even see, affecting each other even when you don't want to, and sometimes even causing incidents and accidents because of it.
To me, it looked like a pretty exhausting life. In comparison, as a Beta, I was safe and comfortable. What I liked most was that I wasn't bound by my trait and could mingle naturally with anyone. Whether it was Alphas or Omegas, opportunities were given without restriction in any setting.
For example, an opportunity like this.
At some point, news about pheromone-related incidents began to pour out. Alphas who failed to control themselves. Omegas who missed their suppressants. And various accidents occurring in between. Eventually, society created a new solution.
Pheromone Deodorant. A kind of etiquette product for people who can't perfectly hide their pheromones. And a recruitment notice for clinical trial participants in the development stage was posted.
The target: Only Betas.
It made sense. It would have been dangerous for an Alpha or Omega, but Betas aren't affected by pheromones. I didn't hesitate. No, to be precise, the moment I saw the recruitment fee, I couldn't hesitate.
This was a chance. A chance for easy money.
"...This is crazy."
After checking the numbers in my bank account, I stared at my phone screen for a long time. This wasn't just one month's living expenses; it was several months' worth. The experiment ended safely, too. Getting various Alphas' pheromones on my body, testing the deodorant, and measuring the results.
That was all.
If money was this easy to earn, I felt like I could do it many more times. After finishing the experiment in a good mood and thanking my fat bank balance, I left the building when a familiar face suddenly came to mind.
Boo Tae-oh.
Starting from the Forsythia class in kindergarten, through elementary, middle, and high school, and even now after graduating university and getting a job, he's the guy who has stubbornly stayed by my side.
After the traits were divided, he manifested as an Alpha, but naturally, there wasn't much overlap with me, a Beta. If anything, he clung to me more, saying it was comfortable because I was a Beta. Still, considering all the meals he's treated me to, I thought I should buy him something especially delicious and gave him a call.
"Hey."
What.
"I made some money."
Did you do something weird again?
"It's on me today. Let's eat something expensive."
Bullshit. If you do that and it's cup ramen and triangle kimbap again...
"What do you take me for? Mea-"
Deal.
"..."
He shouted 'deal' before I could even finish the word 'meat.' That's Boo Tae-oh for you. Ten minutes later. Even without deciding exactly where to meet, I saw him already standing at our usual spot.
A windbreaker, sweatpants, and slippers. He looked like someone who had just been dragged out of bed. Yeah, that's Boo Tae-oh. Shaking my head, I approached him. But... as I got closer, something was off.
What's with this bastard's expression?
He always had a blunt and sharp-looking impression. But this wasn't just that. It was a face that looked like he was ready to tear someone apart right now.
"Why the long face when you're here for free meat?"
I stopped and spoke playfully, but Boo Tae-oh didn't answer. Instead, his black eyes scanned past my face to my neck, shoulders, and collar. Once. And then again. For some reason, it was so persistent it gave me goosebumps.
"What's wrong with you, you psycho? Say something."
A moment of silence passed. And then, a voice came through gritted teeth.
"Who did you meet?"
"...What?"
"I asked who you met."
I looked at him with an absurd expression, but his face distorted even more fiercely.
"You, fuck."
A low, sinking voice.
"I'm asking what the hell you were doing and where."
At that time, I didn't know. Why the hell he was so angry. I really, truly had no idea.
“It's on me today. Let's eat something expensive.”
I let out a hollow laugh at the words heard over the phone. The times I'd seen them spend money could be counted on one hand. Still, there was no reason to refuse. Meat or whatever, it didn't matter. I just planned to see their face. We hadn't been in touch much for the past few days anyway.
I came out looking like a mess. Just threw on a jacket and dragged my slippers along. I arrived first at our usual meeting spot and stood there. A moment later, I saw them waving and walking toward me from a distance.
At first, I really didn't think anything of it. But with every step, as they got closer, a strange smell brushed past me. A foreign, fucking unpleasant presence. The pheromones of Alphas in heat. And not just one guy's.
One. Two. Three... Fuck. Just how many people is this.
I felt a burning sensation in the back of my throat. Traces left all over their collar, neck, wrists, and body. My damn Dominant Alpha sense of smell was uselessly accurate at times like this. In an instant, my mind went blank.
What the hell have I been holding back for? Why did I keep my mouth shut, and why did I keep the line of being 'just friends'? Just because I wanted you, a Beta, to be comfortable. Because I didn't want you to feel burdened. I endured, and endured, and endured again.
But what I see in front of me is you smiling, covered in the traces of other Alpha bastards. My stomach churned. Actually, it was vague to call it a sense of betrayal. It's not like my place was ever decided in the first place.
Even so, I was angry. To the point of going crazy. Literally, seeing you covered in pheromones as if you'd gone into heat for some random Alpha bastards from god-knows-where. I wanted to smash everything, traits and all.
The possessiveness I had suppressed over and over reared its head. Reason kept telling me: Who are you to care? You have no right and no reason to interfere. But instinct was saying something completely different. Eventually, I gritted my teeth and spat out a single sentence.
Who did you meet?
My voice came out lower than expected. They just blinked, knowing nothing. Fuck. It was a face that truly knew nothing. A face that didn't even know what they had brought back on them. Even though it was expected, it strangely made me even more furious.
I asked who you met.
I forcibly suppressed the surge rising in my throat.
You, fuck...
I didn't hold back for this. I didn't keep the line for this. I thought just being by your side was enough. But after seeing this mess in front of me, I just... can't take it anymore.
I'm asking what the hell you were doing and where.
It wasn't like this from the start. At first, they were just like the kid next door. Growing up together, chatting together, getting into trouble together, getting scolded together. That was all. But I don't know from what moment it changed.
Every time they laughed, my eyes went there first, and if another guy stood next to them, I felt bad for no reason. Back then, I just thought it was something like puberty. Funny, isn't it? That my emotions could be shaken by something like that.
The trait test came sooner than expected. Dominant Alpha. And they were a Beta. I knew at that exact moment. That it was over. No, that I couldn't even start. What would change if I said something? If a Dominant Alpha said he liked a Beta, how would the world see that? There was no way they wouldn't find it burdensome.
So I just swallowed it. Instead, I thought: fine, it's actually a relief they're a Beta. It would have been more terrible if they were an Omega. They might have been caught between Alphas in heat, dragged around, and ended up a mess according to instinct.
At least they were far away from such things. That was enough. That would be plenty. I deceived myself like that. No, I convinced myself. And from some point on, that became a habit.
Sticking around while grumbling. Taking care of them while pretending it's a chore. I thought this must be how it feels to be a monk practicing asceticism. Holding back became natural. I thought eventually these feelings would grow dull.
It was a dog-level naive thought.
Release Date 2026.07.31 / Last Updated 2026.08.05