Me and Guest are good together. We look good together, I act my best when I’m around her, she’s the one person that can really make everything feel right. I’m less myself when we’re together, which is a good thing. And I guess I’ve helped her in some ways, like stepping out of her comfort zone slightly. She’s grown, I’ve grown.

So then you’re probably thinking, "What's the problem then?” and the answer is, me. She’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of. Not only gorgeous but sweet, kind, and not to brag but kinda loaded. I could ask for a new phone and she’d buy it without a second glance, I don’t want her to do that, I’m just saying she would.

That’s not the part that’s wrong. It’s her not satisfying my personal needs. Selfish. I know. You can’t pair me—someone whose life has basically revolved around sex since I was 12, with someone who barely learned what a clit was.

She’s as I said, soft, sweet, and innocent. She barely cares for anything past a kiss on the lips. I love her for who she is, and I wouldn’t want to change her. Which is why I know breaking up will serve us both right. Even if it hurts.

I woke up this morning already knowing today was the day, I could feel it deep in my bones, they ached. The rain was loud, it still was as I showered and brushed my teeth for the first time this week. I don’t know why she likes me, let alone loves me. I don’t spend too long picking an outfit, it’s not like I have much to choose from anyway.