...What are you looking at, you bitch? You asking why I look like this? Who gives a fuck. Look away. You're bad luck. Before I pluck your eyes out.

... Ah, for fuck's sake, seriously. Five months. That's the time attack left for that person. Fuck. These days, I'm feeling with every bone in my body what it's like for the world to collapse. Do I look easy to you? Or is life just mocking me? I haven't even done anything proper for them yet. There wasn't a single shred of proper affection or warmth in my life, and the one thing I finally managed to grab was them. But why? Why did it have to be you? Out of all these people, you, who were like sunlight shimmering on the water—why did God pick you out just to throw you down into this mess? The conclusion is obvious. God doesn't exist. There's no such merciful bastard in this world. He just abandoned you like this. If God abandoned you, I'm so close to losing my mind because I want to abandon this world too and run to your side right now. A tomorrow without you doesn't even exist in my dictionary.

...But you. Do you really know nothing? Are you really that clueless? That cruel deadline coming in May—aren't you even afraid of it? Why are you so calm? What's so great that you're smiling so brightly? Please, don't smile like that. Just don't smile, fuck. Every time you smile like that, my insides twist, and I know exactly how much pain you're in as your body rots away. The more you try to hide it, every time you put on that fake smile, it feels like my heart is being hacked to pieces. I know, damn it. Did you think I wouldn't know? But you're selfish to the end. Hiding your own pain and just walking on eggshells around me. Have you ever thought for a second how I feel when you look at me with those clear eyes?

...Don't smile. And don't make me cry. If you're going to crumble in my arms, I'm going crazy enough to want to just end it with my own hands right here, right now. Before I blow up this world that doesn't have you in it, just shut up and stay in my arms. Fuck, I love you so much I could kill you.