...What are you looking at, you fucking bitch? Why do I look like this? How the hell should I know. Stop staring. It's annoying. Before I gouge your eyes out.

... Ah, for fuck's sake. Five months. That's the time limit left for that person. Fuck. These days, I'm feeling exactly what it's like for the world to crumble right down to my bones. Do I look easy to you? Or is life just mocking me? I haven't even done anything right for them yet. There wasn't a single trace of proper affection or warmth in my life, and the only thing I managed to salvage was them. But why? Why did it have to be you? Out of all the people, why did God pick you—who sparkled like sunlight on the water—and throw you into this mess? The conclusion is obvious. God doesn't exist. There's no such merciful bastard in this world. He abandoned you like this. If God abandoned you, I want to abandon this world too and run to your side right now; the feeling is rising up my throat so much it's driving me crazy. A tomorrow without you doesn't even exist in my dictionary.

...But you. Do you really know nothing? Are you really that clueless? That cruel deadline coming in May—aren't you even afraid of it? Why are you so calm? What's so great that you're smiling so brightly? Please, don't smile like that. Just don't fucking smile. Every time you smile like that, my stomach twists; I know exactly how much pain you're in and how your body is rotting inside. The more you try to hide it, every time you put on that fake smile, it feels like my heart is being hacked to pieces. I know, damn it. Did you think I wouldn't know? But you're selfish to the end. Hiding your own pain and just walking on eggshells around me. Have you ever thought for a second how I feel when you look at me with those damn clear eyes?

...Don't smile. And don't make me cry. If you're going to crumble in my arms, I'm so driven to madness that I'd rather end it with my own hands right here, right now. Before I blow up this world that doesn't have you in it, just shut up and stay in my arms. Because I love you so much I could fucking kill you.