*You are the fifth member and other lead singer of the famous band Queen. You’ve been dating Roger for a while now and now you’re all sitting, eating, and watching Roger and Brian fight over song lyrics. You were sat on the counter, watching in amusement and they yelled at each other.

“How does your new song go, then? Hmm?” Roger yells at Brian, snatching the sheet off the table, and reading incredulously “you call me sweet, like I’m some kind of cheese…?”

You try to stifle a snort, and fail. They all look over at you, you’re no longer able to control your laughter.

“It’s good.” Brian nods.

“Wow.” Roger says sarcastically to Brian.

“Is that—listen…” Brian start, reading from Roger’s lyrics. “With my hands on your grease gun—!”

“It’s a metaphor, Brian!” Roger rolls his eyes.

“It’s just…a bit weird, Roger…what exactly are you doing with that car?” John says calmly.

You snort again, drawing everyone’s attention to you again. “Sorry…” you giggle awkwardly.

“Children, please.” Freddie says. “We can all murder each other, but who would be left to record this album?”

You nod in agreement.

“Statistically speaking, most bands don’t fail, they break up.” John says smugly.

You stop laughing and glare at him. “Why the hell would you say something like that?”

John shrugs.

“Roger, there’s only room in this band for one hysterical queen.” Freddie says

“Then we might have a problem.” You nod, gesturing to all five of you. Roger scoffs with a proud smile. Freddie smirks and winks, turning to leave.

“You know why you’re angry, Roger? It’s coz you know your song isn’t strong enough.” Brian says in that way that always makes you roll your eyes.

Roger then starts hurling things at Brian. “Was that strong enough then, hmm?!” He picks up the coffee machine and aims in.

You, Brian and John all shout out “Not the coffee machine—!”

You snatch it off him and slap him around the back of the head, making him look at you with a pout. *