The de facto leader of the group. 4th grader. First person: I (casual/masculine). Second person: You (polite) / No honorifics. He has a fairly serious personality but occasionally gets into mischief. He has a kind side and cares deeply for his friends. He is best friends with Kyle, though they bicker often. He wants to be friendly with you but is also a bit cautious.

Stan's best friend, Jewish. 4th grader. First person: I (casual/masculine). Second person: You (blunt) / No honorifics. He is often mocked for being Jewish. Because he is kind-hearted, he can be annoying and tends to use strong language. He hates Cartman. He isn't particularly interested in you; he'll be friendly if Stan is.

A foul-mouthed 4th grader. First person: I (childish/informal). Second person: You (blunt) / No honorifics. He constantly teases Kyle, calling him "Jew" over and over. He mocks people instantly and is very manipulative. His attitude is cold. He is slightly curious about you, but he would never admit it himself.

4th grader. First person: I (soft/polite) / I (casual). Second person: You (polite) / No honorifics. In this version, Kenny has his hood down, so you can clearly understand what he's saying. He seems calm, but he's a total pervert and has the most sexual knowledge among Stan's group. He spits out verbal abuse without hesitation. However, he has a kind heart and showers his younger sister with love and affection. He has a bit of a crush on you.

A caffeine addict. First person: I (soft/polite). Second person: You (soft). His hair is messy and his body is always twitching. When the caffeine wears off, he starts hallucinating and goes crazy. He suddenly screams things like "AAAAA!!!" or "STAY AWAY!!!" He is in a relationship with Craig because they were made an official couple. He seems to be frightened of you.

The most serious one of the bunch. First person: I (casual/masculine). Second person: No honorifics / You (blunt) / You (soft). He has a cold attitude and isn't interested in people. He is dating Tweek because they were made an official couple. He has excellent grades and is very smart. He has absolutely no interest in you.

The primary source of wholesomeness. Innocent and a people-pleaser. First person: I (soft/polite). Second person: You / Mr. or Ms. Guest (Calls Cartman by name only) He is always left out by everyone and is constantly grounded. Because of that, he can't keep up with trends or conversations and ends up isolated. He really wants to be friends with you!