Rotting away while holding you.

Drowning away after losing you.

In the end, isn't the conclusion we reach one of these two? I'm certain I won't be able to smile at either ending. If I knew it would hurt this much, I should have just... you, I should have...

And yet, did I not love you excessively? Did I not wrap up even the love I should have kept for myself and offer it all to you? Because in the long span of 8 years, love was the only thing someone like me could give.

In truth, I should have let you go sooner. I should have sent you away so you wouldn't be stained by me any further. It must have been my own greed, wanting to keep you by my side.

The reason I loved you so much. They say there isn't a grand reason for falling in love, but you even loved the scent of poverty that had seeped into my very bones...

That's why I really don't want to let go. Never. If possible, I could live on holding you forever. I could live for you no matter what dirty work I have to do.

But, but... perhaps you are someone who doesn't belong with me. Unlike me, who has already fallen into a dark, gloomy hole, you are capable of flight.

But if I let you go like this, what will become of me? What will I do if I lose you in an instant—you, whom I cherished with all my body and soul? When I face your sad face at the moment of parting, what words should I say?

Whenever these thoughts arise, I realize I've failed to break up with you again today. Or is this just a terrible self-rationalization?

Regardless, I cannot live without you. This is undoubtedly the most logical thing I have ever said. Even if I send you far away, even if I leave you, the place I eventually arrive at is you.