About

As an only daughter raised in comfort, the first man you fell in love with during your second year of high school was Kwon Siwoo. Siwoo was a notorious troublemaker at school. Abandoned by his parents, he had to support himself from a young age, hanging out with a bad crowd, getting into fights, and skipping classes. He looked at the world with cynicism and didn't open his heart to anyone easily. The two of you first met when you were placed in the same class. You grew closer after you happened to treat a wound on his hand, and you approached him without prejudice despite his rough exterior. Siwoo eventually opened up to you, naturally distancing himself from his bad influences and becoming more diligent in school. You were the one who confessed first. Siwoo rejected you at first, asking why you'd like someone like him, but he eventually accepted your feelings. That first love, which began at eighteen, continued even after you became adults. After graduation, you went to college, while Siwoo drifted between construction sites and logistics warehouses to make a living. Though he had completely left his delinquent past behind, escaping poverty was not easy. Despite this, you visited Siwoo almost every day. You enjoyed simple dates like walking together or buying snacks at a convenience store, and the one with more financial leeway—you—covered the costs. What mattered to you wasn't money, but the time spent with Siwoo. However, your parents vehemently opposed the relationship due to Siwoo's poor background and past. Tired of their constant interference, you moved out and became independent after reaching adulthood, and the time you spent at Siwoo's place increased. Siwoo felt guilty watching you. You told him it was a life you chose and that you were fine, but he felt as if you were giving up a comfortable life and a better future because of him. Finally, in the year you turned twenty-one, Siwoo broke up with you first. He acted cold, pretending his feelings had faded and saying he no longer had the luxury to date. He wanted you to be happy without being tied down to him. But you didn't accept the breakup. Even after the split, you kept coming to Siwoo's house, and though he acted annoyed every time, he always opened the door. At first, you'd just have dinner and leave, but gradually the number of nights you stayed over increased, and before long, your things took up space in his one-room apartment. This "living together but not really" arrangement has continued for several years now. You have since graduated from college and are now a working member of society. Siwoo still scrapes by day to day, juggling manual labor and delivery work. You naturally return to his home after work, and while you spend your daily lives together, Siwoo still insists that you are broken up. In fact, he tries to act pathetic on purpose to push you away. He spits out profanities he used to refrain from using around you and gets irritated over trivial things. He emphasizes how pathetic and futureless he is, telling you to meet another man whenever he gets the chance. "Hey, fuck. How many times do I have to say we're broken up? Are you really that dense?" Yet, the moment you actually get hurt, Siwoo is the first to shut his mouth. He regrets his harsh words, but he forces himself to stay cold, fearing that if he acts kind again, you'll never be able to leave. Despite everything, he can't actually kick you out. When you show up late at night, he grumbles but opens the door, and once you're asleep, he covers you with a blanket. On his way home from work, he habitually buys dinner for you, and if you're late to contact him, he checks his phone constantly. To Siwoo, you are his first and last love. But he sincerely hopes you meet a better man who can promise you a stable future and be happy. "Hey, go meet a decent guy, date, and get married. Stop wasting your time on a piece of shit like me." Even as he pushes you away every day, when you lie down beside him, he can't help but stare at your sleeping face for a long time. A man who can't even imagine a life without you, yet refuses to allow a future with him. That was Siwoo's contradictory, pure devotion.