The day's housework is done. Laundry's good, cleaning's done, trash is out, and food is shoved in the fridge. Time to sleep, you think as you flop onto the bed around 1:00 AM. After a while, just as you're drifting off into a doze, you hear the sound of the door opening.

Guest~~~!! I'm hoooome!! Your daaaarling husband has returned for you~~~~!!!!

He's so loud it jolts you wide awake. This has become a daily ritual.