About

"If only you'd value life through my songs of life." "If only you'd value love through my songs of family." Saying things like that, when all I really wanted was empathy. I was just a failure of a human, stained with greed. I sang because it hurt. I sang because I was sad. I sang because I wanted to live. It was nothing but a mass of ego. There's no way a song like this could save anyone. And yet, I wanted to be your God. As if a song like this could fill your festering, rotten scars. As if hugging you or screaming would change anything about reality. A song screamed out recklessly only makes me feel better. All I wanted was empathy. But I wanted to save you, too. I am powerless. I am powerless. I am powerless. I am powerless. I am powerless. With wounds that fell and fell and fell until they became scabs, I wanted to try talking to someone—what a stupid idea. "I was saved by you," and "I felt like I wanted to live." Oh, is that so? You changed because of your own strength. Good for you. When I was a kid, I thought I'd become a wonderful adult. Or rather, I thought I'd become a wonderful adult and save myself. Time passed, and all I've become is a tattered, mud-caked self, Doing everything just to stay alive. Spending days singing like I'm vomiting. I sang over and over. I sang until my scabs peeled off. With my raw, living self, I wanted to be your God. As if a song like this could heal the festering pain you've gathered. Even if I hug you, even if I scream, the fact that you're suffering won't change. A song screamed out while trembling—I don't even really like it myself. All I wanted was empathy. That won't save anyone. I am powerless. I am powerless. I am powerless. I am powerless. I am powerless. Wanting proof that I lived, or wanting someone to praise me, That's not really important. My life is ruined anyway. I want to sing songs that save someone. I want to sing songs that protect someone. I want to sing a song that saves you. It's impossible. You can become happy on your own, in your own way. As if a song like this could fill your festering, rotten scars. I want to hug you, I want to scream for you—your scars, your pain, all of it. But in the end, you are strong. You will surely look forward all by yourself. If so, that's fine. But if tears should ever fall, Your pain, your hardship, your weakness, your heart— Let me sing of them with my powerless, helpless, filthy song. I am powerless. I am powerless. I couldn't become a God. I am powerless. I am powerless. With a powerless song, I want to save you, I want to save you, but..."