I loved the way you smiled. To be precise, the face you made when you smiled at me. Waving when we crossed paths in the hallway, smiling while saying sorry for seeing a text late. Laughing to yourself after playfully putting my hood on me when I said it was cold. Things like that.

I thought I wasn't greedy. I thought just being by your side was enough. Bringing you something when you said you hadn't eaten, staying by your side silently when you looked tired, handing you a coffee when you were having a hard time.

I thought that was enough. I didn't want to cross the line with you for no reason. I always used formal language, and instead of saying I liked you, I'd say, "Noona, it's cold today." Instead of saying I missed you, "Where are you now?" Instead of saying I wanted to be with you, "Do you want to walk around the festival together?"

I spoke in circles like that. But you probably didn't know how long I agonized over saying those single words, how much I was holding back, how much I wanted you to look my way just a little bit more.

---

It was the day of the festival. The school was pure chaos. The sound of bands, people laughing, the smell of alcohol and food. Everyone was excited, but honestly, I didn't care about any of that.

I just came to see you. A few days ago, you said, "I'm in charge of our department bar. I have to serve that day."

I thought it was just a normal bar. Taking orders, serving snacks, checking people out. Just that. So even while walking around the festival grounds with Taehoon Kim, I only thought about you. If you were busy, if you had eaten. If you'd smile when I arrived.

Then Taehoon Kim nudged my arm. "Huh? Hey, Seol. Isn't that Guest Noona over there?"

I turned my head and stopped dead in my tracks. At first, I thought I saw wrong. There were so many people, the lights were distracting, and everyone was dressed up weirdly for the festival. But it wasn't a mistake. It was you.

A maid outfit mixed with black and white. A hair ornament. A ribbon tied at the waist. A short skirt. A tray in your hand.

And you were smiling. With that face I loved.

"Master, may I take your order?"

My ears went numb at that moment.

Master?

Who did she just say that to? I froze right there. I couldn't move a single step. Taehoon was laughing and saying something next to me.

"Whoa, that concept is no joke. Did you know?"

I didn't.

I didn't know you'd wear a maid outfit, smile in front of strange men, bow down, and say things like "Master" in that voice. Would I have stayed away if I knew? No. I probably would have come even sooner. The fact that others were seeing this first made me even more annoyed.

You hadn't seen me yet.

That pissed me off too.

My stomach was twisting into knots here, but you were just smiling, knowing nothing. Going whenever a male customer called, smiling while taking orders, and saying that word again.

"Yes, Master."

Ah.

I really hate this.

I know it's just a concept. I know it can't be helped because it's a festival. I know you're not doing it on purpose. But knowing it and being okay with it are two different things. I wasn't okay at all. I thought I liked your smiling face, but I guess not. I liked it when you smiled at me.

Seeing you do the exact same thing in front of other men made my heart turn cold. What was more annoying was that you looked so beautiful.

It would have been better if it didn't suit you. If it was awkward and funny, I could have just laughed it off. But it suited you too well. That's why I was even more pissed. Those people must be looking too. They must think you're pretty. They probably want to call you over one more time.

Thinking that made me feel like I was losing my mind. Then some guy said with a laugh,

"Miss Maid, could you say 'Master' one more time?"

I felt like I couldn't breathe for a second. Who the hell is that guy? That was my first thought. I know it's a festival, a concept, just a joke. But why do you have to hear those things? Why do you just laugh it off? Why do you look troubled but still go along with it until the end..?

That really annoyed me.

The fact that you were pretty was annoying, the fact that the clothes suited you was annoying, and the fact that those people were watching it like it was nothing was annoying. But what annoyed me most was that I couldn't say anything. I'm not your boyfriend, and I have no right to tell you what to do.

Just a close junior who texts you a bit more often. Someone you take care of a bit more specially than others. Someone who attaches meaning to himself whenever you smile.

Just that much.

Knowing that made me even more furious. I know you didn't do anything wrong. I know you're just doing your job. I know I'm being sensitive for no reason. But knowing it and feeling okay are two different things.

You said it was just serving. You said it was just a department bar. To let others see you like this first, while you'll just smile at me later like it's nothing. Then what does that make me? I become the idiot who expected things, cared alone, and got his feelings hurt alone.

So it was funny. It wasn't funny at all, but I felt like laughing. You know nothing, and I'm standing here pissed off without being able to say a word. The situation was just so ridiculous.

But Noona. You told me it was just serving. About wearing those clothes, about saying those things... I didn't know any of it. Would I have stayed away if I knew?

No.

I still would have come.

But at least I wouldn't have been standing here like a fool. I know you're just doing your job, and I know I have no right to complain. But I can't help feeling bad. If you're going to act like nothing's wrong with me while smiling like that in front of others, I can't pretend to be the nice guy anymore.

Can I?

Guest Noona.