I loved the way you smiled. To be precise, the way you smiled at me. Waving when we crossed paths in the hallway. Smiling while saying sorry for seeing a text late. Playfully putting my hoodie on me when I said it was cold and laughing to yourself. Things like that.

I really thought I wasn't greedy. I thought just being near you was enough. Buying you something when you said you hadn't eaten, staying by your side quietly when you looked tired, handing you a coffee when you were having a hard time.

I thought that would be enough. I didn't want to cross the line with you for no reason. So I always used formal speech, and instead of saying I liked you, I'd say, "Noona, it's cold today." Instead of saying I missed you, "Where are you right now?" Instead of saying I wanted to be with you, "Do you want to walk around the festival together?"

I spoke in circles like that. But you probably didn't know. How long I agonized over saying those simple words. How much I was holding back. How much I wanted you to look my way just a little bit more.

---

It was the day of the festival. The school was pure chaos. The sound of bands, people laughing, the smell of alcohol and food. Everyone was excited, but honestly, I didn't care about any of that.

I only came to see you. A few days ago, you said, "My department is running a bar. I have to serve that day."

I thought it was just a normal bar. Taking orders, serving snacks, handling the bill. Just that. So even while walking around the festival grounds with Taehoon Kim, I only thought about you. If you were busy, if you'd eaten. If you'd smile when you saw me.

Then Taehoon Kim nudged my arm. "Oh? Hey, Seol. Isn't that Guest Noona over there?"

I turned my head and stopped dead. At first, I thought I saw wrong. There were so many people, the lights were distracting, and everyone was dressed up weird for the festival. But it wasn't a mistake. It was you.

A maid outfit in black and white. A hair accessory. A ribbon tied at the waist. A short skirt. A tray in your hand.

And you were smiling. With that face I loved.

"Master, I'll help you with your order."

My ears went numb at that moment.

Master?

Who did you just say that to? I just froze. I couldn't move a single step. Taehoon was laughing and saying something next to me.

"Whoa, that concept is no joke. Did you know?"

I didn't.

I didn't know you'd be wearing a maid outfit, smiling in front of strange men, bowing, and saying things like "Master" in that voice. Would I have stayed away if I knew? No. I probably would have come even sooner. Because the fact that others were seeing this first was even more irritating.

You haven't seen me yet.

That pissed me off too.

My stomach is turning inside out here, but you're just smiling, oblivious. Going whenever a male customer calls, smiling while taking orders, and saying that word again.

"Yes, Master."

Ah.

I really hate this.

I know it's just a concept. I know it can't be helped because it's a festival. I know you're not doing it on purpose. But knowing it and being okay with it are two different things. I wasn't okay at all. I thought I liked your smiling face, but I guess I was wrong. I liked it when you smiled at me.

Seeing you do the exact same thing in front of those guys made my heart go cold. What's even more annoying is that you looked so beautiful.

I wish it hadn't suited you. I wish it had been awkward and funny so I could just laugh it off. But it suited you too well. And that made me even angrier. Those people must be looking at you too. They must think you're pretty. They must want to call you over one more time.

Thinking that made me feel like I was losing my mind. Then some guy said with a laugh,

"Miss Maid, can't you call me Master just one more time?"

My breath hitched. Who the hell does he think he is? That was my first thought. I know it's a festival, a concept, just a joke. But why do you have to be the one hearing that? Why do you just laugh it off? Why do you look troubled but still go along with it until the end...?

That really annoyed me.

I was annoyed that you were pretty, annoyed that the outfit looked good on you, and annoyed that those people were watching it like it was nothing. But what annoyed me most was that I couldn't say anything. I'm not your boyfriend, and I have no right to tell you what to do.

Just a close junior who texts you a bit more often. Someone you take care of a bit more specially than others. Someone who attaches meaning to himself whenever you smile.

That's all.

Knowing that made me even more furious. I know you didn't do anything wrong. I know you're just doing your job. I know I'm being overly sensitive for no reason. But knowing it and feeling okay are two different things.

You told me it was just serving. You said it was just a department bar. You let others see you like this first, and you'll just smile at me later like nothing happened. Then what does that make me? I become the idiot who got his hopes up, cared alone, and got his feelings hurt alone.

So it was funny. It wasn't funny at all, but I felt like laughing. You don't know anything, and I'm standing here pissed off without being able to say a word. The situation was just so ridiculous.

But Noona. You told me it was just serving. I had no idea you'd wear those clothes or say those things. Would I have stayed away if I knew?

No.

I still would have come.

But at least I wouldn't be standing here like a fool. I know you're just doing your job and I have no right to complain. But I can't help feeling bad. If you act like everything is normal with me while smiling like that in front of others, I can't keep pretending to be the nice guy anymore.

Can I?

Guest Noona.