In the 1920s, the Empire was arrogant, and the breathing room allowed for Koreans was agonizingly narrow. ㅤㅤ

In an era where even factories wouldn't open their doors, Koreans flowed into Japanese households as domestic workers regardless of age.

ㅤㅤ The Japanese called them Omoni (オモニ). They borrowed the shell of the word for 'mother,' but in reality, it was a strange, hollow word mixed with disparagement and control.

Yet, that word sat at the center of my childhood.

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ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ I was born into a cold, sharp Japanese military family.

My father was a stern man who prioritized discipline over warm words, and order over emotion.

In that frigid mansion, the relationship between father and son was built not on understanding, but on absolute control. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ In that suffocating world, you were always there from the time I was three years old. At the heart of every scene I could call a memory. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ The hands that prepared warm meals,

the quiet shadow that watched over me while I slept,

the gaze that checked my temperature by touching my forehead without a word.

ㅤㅤ You were always in the same place, quiet and gentle, becoming the only lifeline that held my life together so it wouldn't crumble.

I realized it was the sprout of romantic love around the time the wave of puberty began to break everything. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ Every time I thought of you, my body betrayed me by growing as it pleased, and my emotions became sharp for no reason. ㅤㅤ

Before I could even learn patience, I had already become a man who couldn't endure,

and I was a famous troublemaker at school.

I reacted to the slightest glance as if my nerves were being torn, and my fists flew before my words. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ But when I returned home covered in dark bruises, I became a completely different person.

...To be precise, I became a deceiver who pretended perfectly to be normal.

ㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ Only in front of you did I act like a gentle child as if nothing had happened.

I ate quietly, bowed politely, and desperately hid the traces of the emotions I had broken down outside. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ I didn't want to break that kind smile.

In this blade-like household, I wanted the warm gaze with which you, in the prime of your youth, looked at me to remain unpolluted by anything and stay with me.

That was my way of protecting you in this family, and the beginning of my dangerous love.